Isn't Stupidity Contagious?
by MidnightWritings
Summary: Sequel to Stupidity at its Best. Is it that bad that I want to live a normal criminal life? I'm really starting to regret saving Tobi…
1. Alive Alive Alive!

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 1

***tah-dah!* It's me again! I'm so happy! I got my fifty+ reviews and I finished Stupidity at its Best, thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, and bugged me to update. I love you all *youthful sob* Now I promise that this part of the Stupidity series will be longer than the last one… ." It was a mere thirteen chapters. This one'll last a lot longer seeing as I don't really know where I want to go with this. ^^" Don't worry! I'll figure it out soon! My beta is being amazing, as usual. If you want to thank someone, thank her for making sure that my writings are decent. I LOVE YOU KIT!**

**Likes to Smile: ^^ Thank you so much! It's reviews like yours that keep me going! Thanks for the favorite as well.**

**SnowsShadow: *le gasp* And he's your icon! XD Oh well, he's not too hurt.**

**Sasori: *sniffle***

**Angel:… O-O' Moving on~ I do too. *drool* I love Kisame.*sob, sob, sob* I can't believe you'd do that for my fanfiction! I had no idea people liked it that much!**

**tomato sauce: It's fine! Lazy is amazing. I am very lazy. Thanks, I had that idea for that scene for a long time but just didn't write it down. Dammit, PLEASE tell me if she starts acting like a Sue! And don't worry, Kumori sings like a dying moose trying to get some before it dies.**

**Kumori: HEY!  
Angel: It's true. Thanks I'm glad you like it! I knew the training would have to take a while and she's still not going to be done when she gets to Konoha. Please keep reviewing! :D**

**Wolfsredfalcon: :D You'll find out in just a few more seconds! I thought it was cute…like Kisame! I've had that idea for a while ^^" BAD KISU! *punts***

**Likes to Smile: ^^" Yeah, it really bugs me when people go for like three months without updating D: Promise I won't do that without reason. Thanks~ I'm on my way back as I write this so I'll be back home when you read this! Most people ignore Sasori-san's existence completely and the ghost thing was just the cherry on top. That's a good idea! Mind if I steal it…? .**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: BOOM! Kumori goes flying everywhere and I have to go on the hunt for a new OC…dammit. It's fine! I was a little worried (I always am when someone reviews one chapter than says nothing for months at a time) but now you're back, right? Thanks! Thanks to .Girl and Envy 192 for the favorites! Haniel Hatake and AnonymoustheFirst both put me as their favorite author, I'm shocked and awed that you love my work that much! THANK YOUZ~**

**HEEEEEEEEERE WE GO~ *puts on a super hero cape* THE NEXT CHAPTER! BWAHAHAHAHA! *evil music plays* **

"Dismissed," Pein says after briefing me about my mission. It had taken a long time to get a solid plan and a reason why I wasn't in the Akatsuki's base any more that was believable. I nod and back out of the room before turning and running down the hall. I skid to a stop in front of my room and run inside.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" I mumble throwing my stuff into my bag. I tie my hitai-ate on and slip the kunai holder around my leg. Sighing, I slip my medic pack-skirt-thing and weapons' pouch on. "Where'd Kisu go…?" The clay owl is pecking at my window, obviously wanting out.

"Knock, knock," Kakuzu says standing in my doorway. "You're leaving already?"

"Yeah," I say with a grin. "Now you're not going to have to kick my a$$ every day in training,"

"Mmm," He says looking slightly bored. "If you bring back the Kyuubi that'd be even better than coming back alive. Or that Asuma guy. He's got a huge bounty on him,"

"Glad you're so concerned with my safety," I grumble as Kisu dive bombs him. He swats the bird away with one hand.

"Yep," He says with a small nod. "See ya in a couple months,"

"Love you too," I grin and pull my bag on. "Wish me luck! If I mess up too bad the Akatsuki will all be killed!" He sweatdrops as I leave, turning to give him a thumbs up. "The fate of you guys rests on me!"

"We're doomed," He says going back to his room grumpily. I continue my quest for the front of the hideout, Kisu fluttering after me. I skid to a stop and he whacks into the back of my head.

"Go say good bye to everyone for me?" I beg pulling my clasped hands up to my chin. "I really have to get going, Konoha's a long way away and I'm probably going to get lost," He seems to nod slightly and pecks my forehead before flying off. "D**n bird," I grumble rubbing the now-sore spot on my forehead. "He's been spending way too much time with Itachi-san,"

I jump out of the base and onto the branches of the trees that surround it. The wind whips through my hair and I smile a little at how much I've improved. Yeah I still have a long way to go before I'm even close to the rank that Leader-sama wants me to be at but still! I'M A NINJA! Time passes quickly and I'm exhausted by the time I reach Konohagakure.

"CIVILIZATION!" I fall forward so my head is just barely inside the village gate. "Ha-ha-ha! I'm alive!" I start laughing into the ground, my voice muffled by the dirt. "Alive, alive, alive, alive, alive," I giggle. Two hands go under my armpits and pull me to my feet. My head is gently pushed back so the person holding me can see my face.

"Getsu Nariko?" I look up to see a man with silver hair and a mask over the lower half of his face. I shake my head and open my mouth to respond.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" That's not my voice… "KAKASHI-SENSEI!" My mouth is closed this time so it can't be my voice. He groans a little and sets me down.

"What is it Naruto?" He asks crossing his arms in a lazy gesture. The blond boy, the Kyuubi container I realize, skids to a stop and opens his mouth to start ranting but 'huh?'s when he sees me. A huge grin spreads a cross his face.

"NARIKO!" He says tackling me in a hug. "I knew you were okay! I told everyone that you were going to escape those b*****d Akatsuki and come back to Konoha! None of 'em believed me! C'mon!" He pulls me to my feet and starts dragging me off. "NARIKO'S ALIVE!" He yells gleefully.

"I'm-" I try to say but soon a group surrounds us. Naruto and I are in the middle. Kakashi parts the group, throws me over his shoulder, and jumps toward the huge tower.

"We need to see the Hokage, this is urgent," He says to the woman at the door, who nods and goes inside.

"You may come in," She says beckoning us into the room. He puts me down and I wobble inside, almost falling over again.

"Getsu Nariko?" The woman inside asks standing up in surprise.

"No," I grumble rubbing my pounding forehead. "I'm not Nariko," I push my glasses up and look to meet her gaze. "My name is Mitsukai Kumori; I was captured by the Akatsuki because of how I looked like Getsu-san. I guess…I got hit over the head before they found me so I don't remember anything. She is dead. They killed her before I came into their hands. They were going to use me as a maid or a ninja or something. My usefulness ran out fast and they were about to kill me. It's dumb luck that I'm alive,"

"Oh," The woman says setting her jaw. Emotion is raw on her face for a split second but she makes her face bland once again. "Why did you come here?"

"Please ma'am," I say bowing, a small sob rattling through my chest. "Let me stay here! I'm begging you. I have no place to go! I came to the Akatsuki with amnesia so I don't know what village I come from." I look up and am happy to find that tears are running down my face. "Please, I won't be any trouble. I'll even work as a ninja here! I can help the village! I promise I won't be any trouble," She puts a hand on her forehead and sighs a little.

"Alright," She says, still a little shaken from my news. "You can become a villager here," I smile a little, brushing the tears away. "But you'll be taken to Ibiki for interrogation. Once you're clear, I'll assign…Kuroame Arashi to you. She'll watch over you and stuff… I'll send word for her."


	2. Keeping Secrets is Hard

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 2

**:D Hi beautiful people who read my stories! I WAFFLES YOU ALL! *sob, sob, sob* You're all amazing and your support keeps me going! You're all awesome! I can't believe I've put the sequel up already! I'm tired so this'll probably be a random chapter with plenty of fluff and stupidity. The Akatsuki are going to start playing more steady rolls soon, I promise! So don't throw your computer across the room screaming "WHY HASN'T SHE PUT MORE *insert favorite Akatsuki member's name here* IN THE D**N STORY?!" If you do _" I'm not responsible for damage costs…**

**KiraUzumaki: Thanks! I really appreciate the support! I need to know that my work is worth my time. Thanks for the alert and favorite as well!**

**celestialmuffins: *furiously typing* I'm typing as fat as I can! XD Thanks a lot for your support!**

**AnonymoustheFirst: I'll be putting up a poll soon for who you want her to be paired with…just fluffy stuff for now. Serious pairs will be established later. And I will!**

**Thanks to celestialmuffins for the alert and favorite, oddlyluck13 for the favorite AUTHOR, AnonymoustheFirst for the alert, JuneEmery for the favorite and alert, and Jelieschic128 for the favorite AUTHOR! :D I don't own Naruto. If you think I do…I don't know whether to hug you or send you to a mental ward. If you wish I did, I don't blame you.**

My interrogation doesn't take too long.

_Ibiki wasn't the easiest to feed lies to, but the results still came out decently._ My inner thinks running her fingernails over a nail file as we walk out of the building. _Now what?_

_We find Kuroame Arashi. She's our keeper for now._

_Oh joy._

"Mitsukai Kumori?" A jounin asks dropping down in front of me. I flinch a little but nod.

"Yeah, who's asking?"

"Kuroame Arashi," She says with a small smirk. "Pein-sama's told me a lot about you but I didn't expect you to be this young."

"You're a spy?" She nods with another smirk gracing her lips.

"Yep," She flicks me forehead, right in the spot Kisu had pecked earlier. I hold the sore spot and glare at her. "And your partner if you survive this,"

"Um…yay?" _Seriously, what am I supposed to say?!... Wait…IF?!_

"You'd better be strong. I'm not going to mother you, shorty,"

"I am NOT short!"

"Are too, five-three at best," I huff a little and cross my arms. "Aww, did I make you mad already?" I open my mouth to respond but she suddenly ducks, swatting a hand at the air. "What the f**k?!"

"Kisu!" I say happily as the owl lands comfortably on my shoulder. He pecks my neck, seeming annoyed. I run my hand over his stiff feathers and roll my eyes. "Sorry, sorry,"

"…?" I can easily read the confusion on Arashi's face.

"Kisu," I say fluttering a careless hand near the bird. "Present, messenger, useless pet,"

"Ah," Is her reply.

"…Where are we going?" I ask as a silence settles over us.

"Food," She says lifting a finger to point at Ichiraku Ramen. My stomach growls at the idea of food and I step up my pace to match hers. "Pein kicked you out before you could get anything to eat, didn't he?" She asks after our orders are place. I nod as my stomach makes ravenous noises.

"Hee-hee…it's talking," I say poking the small bulge that appears whenever I sit. My fat. It growls again in response to my poke. I withdraw. It's never done that before.

"Wow you're stupid," She says putting her elbows on the counter and resting her face in her palms. "You're hungry. It's not talking. It's just trying to get you to feed it,"

"Wow you're harsh," I counter snapping the chopsticks in two and eating quickly to fill my hungry stomach. "Besides," I add through a mouthful of pork ramen. "It's because of stupidity that I survive!" She lifts one eyebrow and snaps her utensils as well before eating, noticeably slower than me.

"I'm surprised Kakuzu didn't kill you," She says under her breath as she eats.

"Me too," She flinches, obviously having thought I didn't hear her. "He's really creepy when he gets mad though…" I shiver a little and push my empty bowl away from me a little.

"Who did you train with first?"

"Tobi, you?"

"Itachi,"

"D**n,"

"I know,"

"Are you originally from here?"

"Yeah. Are you really from another world?"

"Yep. You're a jounin right?"

"Uh-huh and you don't have a rank,"

"Sadly," I sigh and push my glasses up. "How long have you been with them?"

"Four years, you?"

"Almost three months,"

"Nice,"

"That was sarcastic wasn't it?"

"How could you tell?"

"I'm awesome like that," We're silent as she finishes her meal. I throw some money onto the table as she gets up to leave.

"Jutsu type?"

"Mostly medical but I can make a decent genjutsu. You?"

"Kunai and shuriken are my only weapons. How old are you, anyway?"

"Eighteen,"

"Me too,"

"Lovely," We silence again. "Are you going to try and kill me as soon as you get the chance?" She doesn't miss a beat.

"Probably not. Pein'd be mad if I killed you off. Apparently you're his new toy and he wants to see what you can do before you wear out,"

"Is he going to kill me once he realizes I can't do that much?"

"Maybe but probably not. Seems like you've struck a good note with a couple members," She stops and turns to look at me, suddenly serious. "That bird Deidara gave you,"

"Yeah what about it?" I ask putting a hand on Kisu's back.

"Make sure you don't get on Deidara's bad side, is all I have to say. His art is a bang,"

"I've thought about that," I mumble dropping to a sitting position under one of the many sakura trees. "I figure that if he's going to kill me, why not let him? I'm not afraid of something I don't put a lot of thought into. I don't think about death. I'll welcome it," She laughs quietly as she sits beside me.

"God you're stupid," She says softly and I grin.

"I've heard that so much,"

"Don't look now but here comes the loser parade," Arashi says with a small snicker.

"Who?" I ask making the mistake of turning my head slightly.

"NARIKO!" I wince when I see Naruto barreling toward me, a group of kids around his age following quickly behind him.

"I told you not to look," She says under her breath.

"Look, uh, Naruto right?" He skids to a stop with an eager nod.

"I'm not Getsu. I'm sorry, I know I look a lot like her but I'm not. My name is Mitsukai Kumori. Getsu died at the hands of the Akatsuki. I simply look like her. Again, I'll say it loud enough for the rest of you to hear. Getsu Nariko is dead. I am not her. She isn't coming back," That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever said.

"Dammit," Naruto says clenching his fist and the three girls burst into tears. "Dammit I'm going to kill them!" He roars. The guys of the group look mad, to say the least. A single tear rolls down the Kyuubi vessel's cheek. A hand is set on his shoulder. He turns to see Shikamaru's hand on his shoulder.

"We'll help," He says seriously and everyone nods.

"The Akatsuki are going down," Chouji says with a grimace. "We'll make sure of that,"


	3. Mission Improbable

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 3

**Sorry if these next few chapters are weird…It's New Year's Eve and hopefully I'll have this chapter done before 2009. You'll read it tomorrow regardless. I'm watching Dark Knight and loving it. I'll probably watch it a few more times. :D That'll explain what's going on in my mind. Hopefully these chapters won't be too emotastic. XD Happy New Year, let's hope that 2009 is better than 2008. I know you don't want to hear my rant about last year so I won't bother you with it. Last year wasn't the best year I've had in my fifteen years of life, so let's hope that 2009 is better. May this next year be amazing and may all your wishes become realities, as long as they're reasonable.**

**KiraUzumaki: Thank you so much! :D**

**Akatsukifan: I'm seriously giggling from your compliments! They're amazing~ I'm glad you liked the first AND you liked this one. XD She really is but that's what makes her human! Your amazing reviews keep me going!**

**Thanks to Reanonne for the favorite!**

**I don't own Naruto. If I did, Kishimoto-sama wouldn't own it. I would. Yay.**

It's been two weeks since my arrival in Konoha. A few days after I came here, Arashi took a long 'mission' (She made quotation marks with her fingers when she said mission. My not stupid side told me not to ask), a month at least. She was thrilled about it and I swear she was humming when she left. I was placed under the care of Kakashi, meaning that I have to go everywhere he goes. Thanks SO much Arashi.

"Alright you guys," He says one early morning. Well, it had been early. We were down by the memorial stone for almost two hours but I didn't say anything. I may be stupid but I know when someone is mourning. It had been weird the first day but I apologized for the loss afterwards on the first day. He'd smiled behind his mask like it was nothing but I knew it hurt. I could see it in his eyes. "We're going on a mission," My pocket moves a little, feeling the sudden tension in the air. I slip my hand inside and "accidentally" poke Kisu in the eye…Oh Kami I'm hoping it's his eye.

"What kind of mission?" Naruto asks crossing his arms. Sai fake smiles.

"Don't worry Naruto, it'll be fun," He says with that same smile.

"Yeah Naruto, it'll be fun," Kakashi says closing his eye in a smile.

"What. Kind. Of. Mission?" He growls, his eye twitching a little.

"An escort mission for the daimyo of our village." The Kyuubi vessel groans loudly.

"An ESCORT?! How boring is that!" He says tilting his head back to the sky.

"C'mon Naruto," I say slinging an arm over his shoulder and putting the other one out to show him the horizon ahead. "Visualize this…You're with the daimyo and us and all of a sudden a group of ninja wanting to kill the daimyo jump out. We're taken out because they're s-ranked. Then who comes to the rescue to save the almost-dead daimyo and us unconscious ninja?"

"Me,"

"Uzumaki Naruto," I say nodding. "You come back to the village hoisted up on our shoulders. You're the hero of the mission. People are throwing money and Cup Ramen at you." OH NOES! TEH EVIL CUP RAMEN! NOUUU~

"Is it cooked?"

"No, no of course not,"

"Then I'm happy. Alright, let's do this!" He says punching the air.

"How'd you do that?" Sakura asks as Naruto runs home to get his ninja mission gear stuff... yeah…

"Stupidity's logic. I told him what he's always wanted to hear," I say happily flashing the victory sign. She blinks a little. "Don't question the stupid people,"

"I don't think I will from now on," She says turning to go home.

_Kumori: 2 Sakura: ZERO!_ My inner yells punching the air in front of her animatedly.

_We're amazing._ I decide with a smirk.

_HELL YES!_

The group re-gathers not long after, everyone ready for the mission.

"Alright, alright, woo!" Naruto says bouncing from foot to foot. He's still jazzed from my pep talk. I mentally pat myself on the back.

_Good job Kumori, very good job._ My inner pats me on the back.

_Thank you, I know._

_Wow you're egoistic._

_Wow you're b***hy._

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!

_YOU HEARD ME!_

DIE!

YOU FIRST!

RAAAAAAH! Another cat fight breaks out in my mind. I'm still fighting with myself when Sai taps me on the shoulder.

"We're leaving Kumori," I flinch and turn at just the wrong time to face him. Tripping and falling dramatically forward, I fall on top of him.

"FLABALANCH!" I yell as I fall.

"…!" When we land, our lips meet. Both of our eyes go huge but neither of us are able to rouse ourselves from the shock long enough to pull away.

"Woo-hoo! Go Sai!" Naruto yells when he sees Sai and me. I pull away and glare.

Sai blinks and gets up, offering a hand to me.

"Thank you," I mumble turning bright red as I take his hand. He pulls me to my feet with another fake smile.

"Who would know from looking at you that you're such a great kisser?"

"Thank yo-…What is that supposed to mean?!" He fake smiles, his eyes closed.

"I never would have guessed that someone so ugly could be such a good kisser." He says tilting his head to the side a little. Both Sakura and I hit him on the back of the head. He falls to the ground in slow motion and Naruto squats next to him, poking the fallen ninja with a stick.

"He really sucks when it comes to people, doesn't he?" I ask as we start walking toward the huge a$$ castle thingy where the daimyo lives.

"Yeah," Sakura says running a hand through her short pink hair. I push up my glasses like the nerd I am and sigh.

"It's going to be a long mission,"

"Hey guys wait up!" Naruto yells running after us.

"Run," I say grinning at the rosette. She looks slightly confused but runs after me.

"GUYS!" Naruto yells, a whine creeping into his tone.

"Catch us if you can!" I yell turning my head to stick out my tongue at him. That was another thing to put on my long list of stupid things I've done. I turn back around and smack into a tree. My face is smashed into the bark and my glasses go flying off.

"LOOOOOOOOOOGGED!" Someone off in the distance yells as I slowly peel off said vegetation.

"Ow," I say, my eyes swirling a little.

"Are you alright?" Sakura looks mildly concerned. I giggle a little, seeing all seven of her. Whether it is my lack of glasses or the added pulsing in my head, I don't know.

"I'll be fine, thank you Sakuras one through seven," I say squinting a little to try and see more clearly. The seven Sakuras frown in unison and put their hands on their hips.

"Oh honestly, Kumori. You're worse than Naruto,"

"Hey!" We both say as Kakashi lands next to us, my glasses in his hand.

"Did you lose these?" He asks with a slight deadpan. I mumble an embarrassed thank you and slip them over my eyes.

"Okay…there are still seven Sakuras, seven Sais, seven Narutos, and seven Kakashis. I'm guessing that's a bad thing?"

"You're a medic nin," Kakashi says sighing quietly. "Don't you know how to check yourself for damages?" A sheepish grin finds its way to live on my lips as I itch the back of my neck.

"Um…no?"


	4. Deception is Easy

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 4 Deception is Easy…

**Hey my loyal amazing best readers ever! Yeah…I've decided to start naming the chapters before I go to update so they won't be so random. XP I love all the alerts and favorites I'm getting and I'm sorry to beg but could you PLEASE review? Even one word like "yay" or "update" will make me do my happy dance! "ew" would do too! Love you all~**

**KiraUzumaki: Thanks! I will!**

**Bloodyscribble: Thanks for reviewing all three chapters! XD *happy sob* I'm really glad you like it and don't be upset, I'm just happy you found us! *group photo of Akatsuki, Kumori, and Angel* ;D I'm a tard too, I can't blame you. My fluff changed your mind *happy sniffle* Thank you so much! I can't believe it, everyone but Hidan is usually the least noticed! YOU'RE MY HERO! I love your reviews! XD Maybe…I don't know who she's going to be mainly paired with…I'm getting inspired by Here Kitty Kitty Kitty and Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away by Eternal-Explosionist. **

**Thanks to Tsuki Hoshigaki for the alert and Bloodyscribble for the alert and favorite and SnowsShadow for the alert and favorite and ****RequiemWishes for the favorite author and author alert****!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did… I'D BE ASIAN! 8D I can only dream…**

My eye twitches a little when I see the daimyo we're going to be protecting. THIS guy needs protecting?! From what, fangirls?!

Let me draw you a little picture. Imagine a guy, about twenty five at most. He's tall, about six-two, with white-blond hair that's pretty short. He's wearing black pants that are tight but then flare out a little at the bottom. His tight white shirt outlines his muscles beautifully and I can feel a nosebleed coming on. His blue-green eyes sparkle when he sees us.

"You must be the Konoha ninja I hired," He says, his voice is almost musical. "Thank you for coming so quickly,"

"It's no problem, Daimyo-sama," Kakashi says and I glance over at Sakura. Her luck is much like mine; dazed that someone this hot could exist. "Your castle isn't too far from our village."

"I'm glad it wasn't too much trouble," He says smiling. His teeth are white and almost perfectly straight. I swallow hard, forcing back drool. His gaze turns to me and I squeak in surprise. His eyes soften a little, as does his smile. "You, what is your name?"

"Mitsukai Kumori, sir," I say bowing so quickly my glasses go flying off. He chuckles and easily catches them. "Sorry sir," I mumble as he hands them back to me. I can feel Kakashi's glare penetrating into the back of my skull. I straighten up and his eyes meet mine.

"You're nervous," He says with a small smile. "Tell me, why would that be?"

"I-It's my first Konoha mission, sir," I say looking away quickly.

"Kumori," Kakashi hisses and I wince a little at his tone. The daimyo chuckles a little.

"Mitsukai-san," I look up and try to keep the fear from seeping into my eyes. His calm gaze helps ease the worry a little. "I like you. You will dine with me,"

"Excuse me?" I can almost feel my eyes pop out of my eye sockets.

"I would like you to dine with me," He repeats with another chuckle. Sakura sharply jabs me in the side to rouse me from my state of shock and I wince a little before nodding.

"Of course, sir," I say with a low bow. My hair falls in front of my face so I can't see his look but I hear another chuckle.

"Mizuki will show you to a room where you can change into the clothes I've provided for you," He says as I brunette woman, about the same age as me, walks in and bows.

"Please come with me, Mitsukai-san," She says and I follow her to a bedroom. I have trouble holding back a gasp. It's beautiful! Four poster bed with curtains, huge bay window, and a marble bathroom with a tub the size of a small pool. "This will be your quarters for the night. Hiroshi-sama hopes that they will be to your liking,"

"How could I not?" I say, still gaping like a fish. "It's beautiful and a heck of a lot bigger than my room back in Konoha," She nods and hands me a light blue kimono with butterflies on it.

"He requests that you wear this to dine with him," She says softly. "I will be back in a few minutes to help you,"

I'm dumbstruck when I put it on. Did he know I was coming or something? It fits perfectly.

"That kimono is very beautiful on you," Mizuki says making me jump.

"D**n you're quiet!" I say putting a hand over my pounding heart, attempting to make a joke I add. "Are you a ninja or something?" She says nothing as she does my hair and make up, making me look well…half decent. She gets up without a word and we walk to the dining hall. A huge table filled with food is in the center with two chairs. One at the head and one next to it but the head seat is filled so I'm guessing the one next to it is for me.

He stands up upon seeing me and a genuine smile is on his face. He pulls out my chair like a gentleman and pushes it in when I sit down. I notice he's changed into a kimono much like mine, but his has snakes on it.

"You look very nice, Mitsukai-san," He says making me duck my head and blush a little. "That kimono is fitting on you,"

"T-Thank you sir, it fits perfectly." I say to my knees. He smiles and reaches a hand across the table, lifting my chin up so I'm looking him in the eye. His eyes are sparkling in a slightly mischievous way.

"No need to be so formal here, Kumori-san," He purrs and cold dread curls into my stomach. Something isn't right here. He smirks a little when I meet his gaze. "That's better,"

"Si-sir, this isn't en-entirely appropriate," I stutter forcing my eyes from his cold stare. A low chuckle rouses from his throat.

"I, being your boss, will tell you what is and isn't appropriate," He says in a tone that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. His hand is still under my chin and I raise a hand to push it away. He smirks and presses his thumb into my chin.

"S-sir I-" He raises one pale finger and puts it to my lip.

"Shh," The daimyo says keeping it there until I nod showing that I understand. "You will speak when spoke to," I nod again and a small smile crosses his lips. "Good girl," I finch a little at his tone and he chuckles deeply, letting me know he felt it. His fingers run through my hair and I try to pull away. His hand grips my chin harder.

"Let go of me," I mumble looking away.

"Tell me why I should?" I feel utterly helpless, no kunai and I'm going to be in deep trouble if I kill him… "Exactly," He says, triumph in his voice. He takes his seat again and we both start eating, me more hesitantly than him.

"The wine, Daimyo-sama?" Mizuki asks bowing deeply before looking up to see him nod.

"Yes, thank you," He says as she fills his wineglass. She scurries over to mine and fills it without even glancing at me. I sip at it out of politeness.

"Thank you," I murmur as she leaves. Her brown curls bob as she goes, almost looking like she's nodding. The door quietly shuts behind her, the dread bearing its fangs into my stomach again.

"You interest me Kumori," He says and I flinch at the lack of formality. "Ask me why."

"Why, Daimyo-sama?" I ask, just loudly enough for him to hear me.

"Because I know your secret," He purrs and I all but jump. Forcing my face to be bland, I look him in the eye, faked curiosity.

"What secret would that be, Daimyo-sama?" I ask, working hard to keep my voice the same way as my face. He chuckles deeply and rests and elbow on the table, his fingers curling around his cheekbone and eye.

"A-kat-su-ki," He says each syllable like it's a child, almost tenderly, lovingly. "I know you're an undercover Akatsuki member, along with Kuroame Arashi," His smirk lets me know I'm caught.

"How did you-" He raises a hand to stop me and I put my hands in seal under the table.

"You will speak when spoken to, Kumori-_chan_." I glare darkly at him and bring my hands up.

"Don't call me that!" I say and force out my chakra. "Release!" His look turns from shock to horror to anger all within a few seconds as his true form is shown.

"How did you know?! My genjutsu are impossible to see through!" He howls, loosing his cool.

"Try training with Itachi-san ramming genjutsu down your throat and then come talk to me,"

**Yep! I'm stopping there! *dodges tomatoes and bricks* You'll find out who the daimyo is NEXT chapter, but I dropped a few hints. Guess who he is if you dare! If you guess right…your name will be announced IN CAPS AND UNDERLINED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! *tah-dah!* XD yeah…I'm really a review ho.**


	5. Painfully Stupid

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 5 Painfully Stupid

**Hey everyone! HAPPY WEEKEND! It's Saturday when I started writing this and I'm thrilled about the weekend. It's been a long week and I'm ready just to spend a few hours writing. ^^ Hopefully this chapter will be better, I PROMISE the Akatsuki are going to appear in this one or the next one.**

**SnowsShadow: I was starting to wonder where you disappeared to…  
Sasori: …I don't do hugs. **

**Angel: XD I'm glad you like it! It's fun to write her. I know! They're sooooooooo clueless sometimes. |3 I'm glad you like that idea. It was kinda hard to think of a reason why she'd be there unless she wasn't with the Akatsuki. I'm glad I'm getting Arashi right! ^^"**

**TOMATO SAUCE****: DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNA! You guessed right!**

**BLOODYSCRIBBLE:**** AND ANOTHA WINNA~! Hee-hee. I'm a carnie. I love your long reviews and…this is one of your favorite stories? *happy sob* Thank you! And you don't have to bow to me, like Stitches said. I'm not worthy of bowing to.  
KiraUzumaki: Thanks, as always.**

**HistoryHound: Ha! It might be! ." Just don't tell anyone. *hugs back* My English teacher would be so proud! I guess WH is rubbing off on me…**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: It's fine, it's fine! Don't sweat it! I forgive you, how can I not?! You're not stupid or retarded either. I get it and thanks! ;D I'm glad you liking the sequel! **

**HEARITXXI'MSCREAMINGIT****: And anotha winna! Hee-hee, I'm glad you guys like it so much!**

**Thanks to ****Ayase Reincarnated for the favorite, tomato sauce for the favorite, theoretical indecisive-ness for the favorite, HearItXxI'mScreamingIt for the alert and HistoryHound for the favorite AUTHOR!!!!!**

My eyes narrow at the man standing in front of me. My eyes widen suddenly and I feel the blood rushing from my face.

"I'm so STUPID!" I say smacking myself in the forehead. Orochimaru, the snake sannin, was standing in front of me. His huge tongue was already running over his lips.

"You sound nervous," He purrs with a grin. "Why would that be?"

"You're going to kill me," I say weakly.

"You don't know that for a fact," He says with his grin becoming more and more tainted. "You might be a good experiment," Whatever blood had been coming back rushes way from my face.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"What the f-" I start to say but a low hiss comes from Orochimaru's throat. I close my eyes briefly and realize the bangs are Naruto, Sakura, and Sai.

"CHIDORI!" The doors fly off and I realize what had happened.

"You unmasked your chakra," I say with a small chuckle. A sharp pain shoots up my arm. Looking down I see a snake wrapped around it, its head closest to my wrist. Blood drips down to my fingers and I realize I've been bitten. Venom pulses through my veins. My pulse speeds up as my panic rises.

"Oh no," I say quietly as my vision starts to blur. Naruto, Sai, and Kakashi all run toward Orochimaru with the intent to kill. Sakura is at my side in an instant.

"Kumori, are you alright?" She asks and starts to pull the snake off. It bites again and she pulls it off but its fangs drag along my right arm.

"I can't see," I say feeling the darkness closing in. "And I'm gonna faint," The darkness warps its comforting hands around me and the last thing I see is the terror on Sakura's face.

Memories and dreams flash through my mind as I feel like I'm floating.

*in the darkness*

_I force my eyes open and come face-to-face with a blinding light._

_"Kumori!"_

_"Kumori-chan!"_

_"Kumori!" I turn and see Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi running toward me, the two former grinning. I'm guessing Tobi's grinning as well. He always grins. _

_"Kumori!"_

_"Kumori,"_

"**Kumori**_!" I turn back around and see Hidan grinning and running toward me, Kakuzu following him, and Zetsu appears in front of me with a smile. Itachi, Pein, and Konan morph into the group and I'm in warm arms. I look up and see a smile, but I can't make out the face._

_"Hey," He says, his lips brushing my ear. The voice sounds so familiar but I can't make it out._

_"Hi," I say and he kisses the top of my head. _

_"Kumori, you're going to wake up in the Konoha hospital now but we're going to come for you. I've seen what's happened to you and we're going to take you out of the village for a while. Someone will come and impersonate Tsunade to send you on a long mission so you won't be too missed." Pein says with his piercings glint in the light. "Dismissed,"_

*out of the darkness*

"…poison…close call…"

"…might not wake up?"

"…fine…hear us…"

I groan quietly when I realize how much pain I'm actually in. Every pulse of my heart sends pain up my arm.

"Oh Kami, Kumori!" Sakura says and her glowing green hands go to my arm. The pain ebbs away and I open my eyes slowly. Her face swims before my eyes and I close them. Forcing them open again, I see her face more clearly. "I know your arm hurts, but does anything else hurt?" I shake my head slowly.

"Where am I?" I ask and she smiles a little.

"Konoha Hospital, you fainted because of the snake bite. We were so close to losing you its scary!" She says and I look down at my right arm. It's all wrapped up, but I can move my fingers because the wrappings are thin. They look a lot like Lee's.

"What happened to my arm?"

"That's where the snake bit you. Where the fangs dragged along are going to scar,"

"Okay," I say quietly and she smiles.

"I'll go tell Tsunade-shishou that you're awake," She says walking out of the room. It's quiet in my room for a few minutes before I hear shouts outside.

"NARUTO GET BACK HERE!" Tsunade yells and I wince a little at her tone.

"I gotta go see Kumori, dattebayo!" He yells bursting into my room.

"SHE'S STILL RESTING!" The Hokage yells, on his heels.

"I'm fine, Tsunade-sama, thank you for your concern," I say smiling. She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"If he starts bothering you, just call and he'll be out of here," She says going back to her sake…I MEAN work! Yeah, work!

It was almost three days before I got discharged, but Sakura wanted me to keep the scar covered. So do I. It's embarrassing. Tsunade said that she wanted to talk to me once I was free.

"You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?" I ask stepping into the room.

"Yes," She says and lets the Genjutsu fall. Konan takes her place, but keeps her chakra masked. "When you go home today, someone will be waiting for you. Pack up your bag because you're going back to the Akatsuki for a while. Don't talk to anyone on your way back," I nod and walk out of the room, going quickly to my house again.

"I'm home," I call quietly and see Kakuzu step from the shadows.

"Took you long enough," He says grumpily and I smile a little. There's a soda in his hand.

"Glad you made yourself at home," I say good-naturedly as I go to pack up my bag. He tosses the empty soda can over his shoulder toward where the trash can is, making it easily. The stitched man follows me and leans against the door frame, watching me as I get my stuff together.

"Let's go," I say putting the bag over my shoulder, wincing a little when it hits my still-tender right arm. Kakuzu takes notice but doesn't say anything. He gives a curt nod and jumps out of my window, I follow him. Thanking Kami for the night veil, we easily get out of the village and start back toward my real home.

Kakuzu's far ahead of me for most of the time, until a branch he's jumping on snaps. He's so surprised something like that could happen to HIM of all people, he doesn't think to throw his threads out until it's too late.

"Kakuzu-san!" I land next to him and he grumbles a swear under his breath.

"I should have seen that coming," He says and I notice his ankle beginning to swell.

"Does that hurt?" I ask wincing a little at the size it's growing to.

"No," He stands up and tests his weight on it, noticeably unable to support his weight on it. My hand glows green and I gently put it on the bone, seeing my way around.

"Broken at the joint," I confirm my suspicions and he lets out a sigh. "I can't really do anything out here but numb the pain a little," I do so and he is about to test his weight on it again when I say "Don't!"

"I'm fine, Kumori," He says emotionlessly and I shake my head.

"You're going to make it worse if you walk on it," I put his arm around my shoulders and wrap an arm around his waist. "I'll help you back," He makes a sound of protest but doesn't really say anything as we walk back.

I don't know how much he's thanking Kami that it's dark to hide his blush.


	6. Shower

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 6

***happy sob* I can't believe how many reviews you guys are giving me! I LOVE THEM ALL! I read each and every one of them and grin when I read them.**

**Akatsukifan: =OwO= That's the highest compliment an author can receive! THANK YOU SO MUCH! *happy sob* And you were right! It was Oro-chan! You don't have to beg, *head pat* I'm updating now! Thank you so much for the compliments~ I've never written Kuzu-kun fluff. **

**theoretical indecisive-ness: Whoops~ Hopefully this chapter will clear things up a bit. XD LOOOOOOOOOOOOGGED! WOO! GO NTAS!  
KiraUzumaki: *bows* Of course!**

**Bloodyscribble: O_O" Holy crap! HE, the amazing Kuzu-kun, got his a$$ kicked?! UNPOSSIBLE! *blushes* Really? One of your FAVORITES?! I bet you say that to everyone. XD You don't, trust me. XD Nice. *flings cookies to all the reviewers* **

**Thanks to konan12 for the favorite, Mt749 for the favorite and alert, twinkers4 for the alert, and amaramichelle for the alert and favorite!**

"Here we are," I announce unnecessarily when we reach the base. Both the masked man and I are soaked from the rain. Kakuzu grunts and reaches around me so his hands can touch. He makes a hand sign and the rock in front of the hideout rises slowly. He and I walk inside, easily falling back into step.

"Just take me to the infirmary," He says gruffly as we start walking.

"Right," It takes a few minutes to get there since he's walking on a broken ankle. He pushes himself onto the examination table and I unwrap my arm to get a better heal going.

"Might want this," I feel his eyes on my scar as he hands me my cloak.

"Thanks," I say as I begin the healing process. I'm halfway through when the door bursts open.

"He-ey!" Arashi says grinning crookedly. "Shorty's back!"

"Don't call me that," I say, flinching a little when she puts her head on the top of my head and ruffling my hair.

"I'll call you Shorty if I want to Shorty! Unless you prefer Midget,"

"Shorty's fine," I say setting my jaw as the last of the healing takes place. "You're good to go Kakuzu-san, but try not to walk on that leg more than you have to or else it mi-"

"KU-MO-RI-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" I'm enveloped in a hug from behind that smells a lot like cotton candy. Only one person smells like cotton candy and calls me "Kumori-chan".

"Hey Tobi," I say not looking over my shoulder.

"Tobi didn't know Kumori-chan was back!" He says happily and nuzzles his face into my neck.

"I am," I say with a small smile. "It's good to be back,"

"Tobi missed Kumori-chan because Tobi is a good boy~" He says and I'm sure he's smiling behind his mask. "How long has Kumori-chan been back?" I glance at the clock on the wall.

"About half an hour,"

"That LONG?!" He wails throwing all his weight on me. I grunt and my knees buckle. Kakuzu sighs and his threads whip out of his sleeve, lifting Tobi off of me.

"Don't," He says narrowing his eyes a little. Tobi 'eep's and nods.

"Tobi won't, Tobi's a good boy," He whimpers withdrawing and trying to get the threads off of himself.

"It's fine Kakuzu-san," I murmur feeling a slight blush coloring my cheeks. "He means well," The stitched man grunts and gets up. He nods slightly at me and limps out of the room, Tobi following him eagerly.

"Annoying little b*****d," Arashi says rolling her eyes.

"He means well," I repeat cracking my knuckles. "How have things been here?"

"Good," She says yawning. "Boring mostly. Leader-sama hasn't been sending me out for too many missions. Once we infiltrate Konoha I'll be able to be freer again. D**n this is boring." She glances at me with a small smirk. "It'll be fun to see if you can keep up with me, eh Shorty?" I flinch a little at the nickname and she laughs. "Get used to it, I'm gonna call you Shorty forever, Shorty,"

"I'm not that short," I grumble reaching up to put the bandages I used to help wrap Kakuzu's ankle and my sleeve falls up my arm. I stand on my tiptoes and she grins, taking it from me and easily setting it on the shelf I'd just been trying to put it on.

"Shorty,"

"What happened to your arm, Kumori? **Looks like it got cut up pretty badly**" I turn around and unconsciously pull my sleeve down to my knuckles.

"What do you mean Zetsu-san?" I ask avoiding his gaze as I feel Arashi's on my arm. "It's nothing," He takes three long strides forward and gently takes my hand in his arm. He pushes the sleeve back and both of his eyes trail up the scar.

"_**This isn't nothing**_," He says softly. He looks up and his different colored eyes meet mine. His gaze captivates me and I can't pull my gaze away from his. "Kumori?"

"I-I'm fine," I say looking down.

"No you're not," Arashi says sounding annoyed. "If this is fine, I'd hate to see you hurt. What happened?"

"I met up with Orochimaru,"

"**And this is all that came out of it?**" Zetsu's dark side asks with a small smirk. "Believe it or not, he's right. You're lucky you're not dead,"

"Like I said, nothing," I mumble looking down. "I was stupid and I should have seen it coming,"

"D**n straight," She says with a nod. "Once we start training together you'll be better than that,"

"Thanks," I mumble pinching the bridge of my nose,

"No problem," Arashi says with a slight smirk. "I don't want you dragging me down."

"I'm gonna go shower," I sigh as my partner snickers again.

"Watch out," Zetsu murmurs. "Hidan's been extra…excitable today," My hand moves from my nose to over my eyes. "I should lock the door, shouldn't I?"

"He's already tried to walk in on me a few times today," Arashi says playing with a kunai.

"**So THAT'S what all the blood was,**" Zetsu's black side laughs.

"Yep!" She says with a creepy smile. "A$$hole had it coming. He tried to feel me up," A light blush stains her cheeks, almost invisible to the human eye. But I know from all the time I've spent with her to know that she's blushing.

"Ooo, Arashi~ You like Hidan!"

"Do not!" She yells, her face flushing.

"Do too!" I singsong. That's probably the stupidest thing I've done lately.

BAM!

My jaw starts aching and I realize she punched me.

"Hey!" I yelp holding my now-sore jaw.

"You should have let it drop," She says stomping out of the room.

"Um, ow," I sigh walking out holding my jaw. I sigh and turn down the hall to find one of the many bathrooms. Thankfully, the one near my room is open. I smile when I see my fluffy white robe hanging on the hook on the back of the door. If anyone asks, I bought it from a hotel gift shop. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The water runs over my body, helping soothe my jaw. I grimace a little when I see what color the water has turned.

"I thought rain was supposed to be clean," I grumble kneading shampoo into my hair. Reaching for the bar of soap, one large glob of suds has unkindly decided to make residence in my eye. "Ow!"

My fingers brush the cleaning product as it goes soaring toward the ground. I step sideways in an attempt to grab it, but end up getting more soap in my eye. Not exactly the epitome of fun. With a relatively loud thud, I'm on the shower floor, blood running from a cut on my stomach and soap mercilessly taking over my eyes.

BOOM!

Before I can regain my breath and get the offending soap out of my eyes, the door bursts open. Clouds of steam rush to greet the figure in front of me. Like a twisted ending, the shower rod, complete with curtain, falls.

I blink rapidly, tears pouring down my face in my body's meager attempt to get rid of the d*mn shampoo that's making my eyes sting so much. In front of me stands…

"DEIDARA!" I scream and pull the fallen curtain around me, glaring angrily when I realize it's more or less see-through. "Get out!" My hand reaches around for something to throw.

"I'm sorry, yeah!" He yelps when a mini bottle of body wash hits him in the side of the head. "I thought you were being attacked, un!"

"Out!" I shriek throwing more things. "Out! Out! Out! Out! OUT!"

"I'm going, I'm going, yeah!" He ducks and starts running down the hall, straight into Hidan.

"Running from a d*mn bat outta hell?" He asks glaring at him.

"Walked in on Kumori, un," He pants. An evil glint shows in the Jashinist's eye.

"Is she still in there?"

"Maybe, I dunno, yeah," He shrugs as Hidan speeds off. He giggles to himself as he bursts into the bathroom.

"HIDAN!" He grins a little but pales when he sees who it is.

"Leader-f**king-sama?!" The red-haired man is standing in front of the mirror, a towel wrapped around him waist. He's putting his piercings back in and his hair is laying down around his face. An anger vein is visible on his temple.

"Get out of here or I'll find a way to kill you," He growls.

"Dammit, wrong room!" He runs, right into me. The robe is tied tightly around me and my hair is in a turban, only the annoying red streak hanging down.

"Oh, sorry Hidan-san," I say picking myself up and offering a hand to him.

"D*mn, I missed," He wails slumping slightly. I deadpan.

"Miss what, Hidan?" Darkness looms around me as the realization hits.

"N-Nothing!" I shrug and go back to my room, leaving him in his misery.


	7. Injured

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 7 Injured

**Holy crap guys! I'm sooooo sorry that I haven't been updating recently. I got in trouble and guess what got taken away? Yup, my baby. My laptop. *sigh* I'm sorry but I got a ton of writing done!! :D Thanks to everyone who's stayed with me through this. I LOVE YOU ALL! **

**Killerwing x Gaara: :D I can't tell you that, darling! It'll be revealed eventually. **

**SnowsShadow: I was getting worried about you! When my reviewers don't respond to my updates, I get worried. *hugs back* This chapter is chockfull of it!**

**Sasori: *slight blush* Thanks…**

**Thanks to Killerwing x Gaara for the alert and SnowsShadow for the favorite AUTHOR!!!**

It's been two weeks since my return. I love the hideout more than I ever did my own apartment, though I do miss Yuki and Byakko. More the former than the latter. It's more interesting and WAY more active than my apartment ever was.

"Where are Itachi-san and Kisame-san?" I ask setting waffles on the table. I'm about to set a plate of bacon down but Hidan snatches it out of my hand and growls at anyone who tries to reach for a piece.

"They went to check a breech in security," Arashi yawns over her mug of black coffee. "Leader-sama and Konan left yesterday for some mission-thingy about the Bijuu." She adds seeing me open my mouth again. She'd been put in charge, seeing as it had been decided if Pein and Konan both died, she would be the new leader of the Akatsuki. Everyone has a spot. Mine is second from the bottom, comfortably between Tobi (last) and Hidan (third to last).

"We should probably save them something," Zetsu's white side muses as his black half snorts. "**Karma. Kisame eats everything before it leaves the kitchen. This is just karma biting him in the a$$.**" Kakuzu reaches over bravely to retrieve a piece of bacon from under Hidan's protective arms. The Jashinist snaps at his fingers, only missing by a few inches. I go back to the kitchen to get more food, swatting him on the back of the head.

"Share d****e," Before I can grasp what's going on. I'm up against the wall. My feet are dangling a foot off the ground and I can't breathe. Hidan's hand is at my throat, steadily blocking the flow of life giving oxygen. My fingers claw uselessly at him arm; my need for air becoming more and more necessary.

"Remember your place b***h," He hisses in my ear. I gasp fruitlessly for air as my face starts turning red. Kakuzu's hardened fist flies at Hidan, surprising him enough for his grip to loosen. I choke and suck in the air greedily. One more fist aimed at his head gets me free. Threads fly out of his sleeve and catch me, bringing me back to their host. Hidan hisses, sounding like a wounded animal. Kakuzu growls back and his threads shoot out toward the Jashinist. Arashi narrows her eyes and shoots out, standing in the middle of the two.

"Stop it," She hisses pulling a kunai out. "You know the punishment for fighting, well I might add. Take it outside for training," The threads slowly unwrap from around me, setting me gently on the ground.

"You okay?" Kakuzu asks glancing back at me. I nod.

"I'm fine," I mumble taking a few deep breathes. He nods sharply once before leaving. My apatite has disappeared and there's only one thing I know that will help calm my frayed nerves. "Sasori-san?" That familiar breeze surrounds me. His hand is on my arm.

"I saw everything," He says quietly. "I've known Hidan ever since he came here, I haven't seen him snap like that before," I take a shaky breath and nod again.

"Can we just not talk about this please?" I curse myself when my voice cracks.

"Alright," He says walking to the piano room. I'm only a few steps behind him. He sits at the bench and I slide in next to him. His fingers graze across the keys easily. I smile and fall in tune with him. He stops suddenly and ghosts around. Deidara is panting in the doorway.

"Kumori, yea," He says taking a deep breath. "Kisame's badly wounded. He and Itachi were attacked and-" I'm bolting down the hall before the rest of the sentence is out of his mouth. The hall flies under my feet and I'm in the infirmary before you can say "art is a bang."

"Stay with us Hoshigaki," Arashi says, her voice an almost growl. "If you die I'm going to kill you!" He says something making her chuckle. "I know, she's on her way,"

"She's here," I say pulling my hair away from my face. "Where was he wounded?"

"Rasengan, got first hit in the stomach, might have gotten a little of a lung or the heart," She says looking up.

"Oh yay," I mumble forcing chakra into my hands. "One of the many things I don't know much about,"

"At least I went down fighting," Kisame says with a slight chuckle. Arashi slaps him.

"Do me a favor and don't hit my patients until they're healed," I say shooting her an annoyed look.

"Sorry!" She doesn't look it. I sigh and start mentally mapping out the damage.

"You're lucky, Kisame-san," I murmur as people start filtering out. "The wound isn't very deep but it did puncture your stomach," He gives me a weak smile, wincing when I let my chakra slip a little.

"Thanks,' He says. I nod, closing my eyes to concentrate on the healing. His hand reaches out toward my neck, gently brushing his fingers across the bruises forming. I jump.

"What's this?" His low voice is even lower than normal.

"Nothing," I say shaking my head. "I made a mistake and paid for it, just like anyone else would," We fall quiet as I finish what I can of the healing. "I'll do the rest tomorrow or later tonight depending on how fast I get more chakra,"

"You're not like the rest of us, Kumori-san," He says gently, tilting his head to get a better look at me. "You're younger, not as strong-yet-, and you've done something no one else has," I open my mouth to question him but he raises a finger to my lips. His eyes are half-lidded and he looks relaxed. "You'll figure it out when the time is right," He says lowering his hand and falling asleep.

**Gee, thanks Yoda!**


	8. Ready to Run

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 8 Ready to Run

**Gah~ *slump* I'm so tired. It's been a long week and a longer (and busier) weekend. I'm exhausted so if it shows in my writing I'm sorry. I'm trying to make these chapters better and better but I have a feeling they're getting worse and worse. -.-" Sorry guys, I promise they'll start getting good again. I've already got the ending to the series planned out but I just don't know how to get there. Ha-ha, not funny. I'm doing the best I can right now and yes there will be a definite pairing with some fluff by the end of the series. I'm toying with the idea of a wedding. Not sure who she's going to be paired with yet but I know it's going to be an Akatsuki. Wish me luck!**

**SnowsShadow: Sasori: *slight blush***

**Angel: Ha-ha just a tad! X3 I loved writing that. And yeah, it's Hidan. What do you expect?**

**KiraUzumaki: As always, thanks for your support! **

**Killerwing x Gaara: Ha-ha so true. He's just really…not good at sharing.**

**Bloodyscribble: XD I love your long reviews! They make me feel happy…O_O" What happened between the two of them?! And yeah…everyone snaps at some time or another, right?**

**Thanks to ****Siyui no Akatsuki for the alert!**

**PLEASE REVEW OR I WON'T UPDATE! D:**

My hands glide over the keys as the rain hits the small window in the piano room. My ghostly teacher is standing behind me and I can feel the cool air wafting off of him. Shivering slightly, I close my eyes and continue playing. The final notes of the song echo through the hideout and I stand up with a slight sigh.

"I really should get back to the infirmary and make sure Kisame isn't trying to move around too much," I say feeling him breeze through me.

"Probably," He says tonelessly and I can feel his gaze on me.

"Do I have something on my a$$ or something?" I ask twisting around to look at it, my spine popping in the process.

"…No," He says after a second. "Go ahead, I'll send for you once I'm ready for you,"

"Okay! Thanks Sasori-san," I grin at him and I swear I see his lips twitch up into a smile. It disappears within a second. Walking down the halls, a sudden aftershock rocks the walls. "What the f**k?!" A strong wind blows down the halls, almost knocking me off my feet.

"We're being attacked." Itachi says from his sudden place behind me. I nod sharply and am about to go join the battle but his arm finding its way to my gut cuts me off. "It's Konoha,"

"Oh," Chakra-draining handcuffs are on my wrists and a kunai slips out of his sleeve. His hand is almost gentle as he makes a few nicks on my face and neck. "Hold on," I raise a hand and break a small blood vessel near my left eye, giving off the idea that I'd been punched.

"Arashi is in the same condition. You know the plan," I nod and am about to start running when something runs into the back of my head.

"Kisu!" I say turning around as the clay owl opens his beak in a silent hoot. He slips into my pocket and Itachi puts his hands into a seal to activate the handcuffs. As soon as they're on, I can feel my chakra draining.

"Start running," Itachi's voice in my ear makes me flinch slightly.

"Sorry," I say under my breath before I do as he had ordered. Finding my way out of the hideout was easy, making it look like it wasn't wasn't. The Rookie Eight plus Sai were attacking with Lee, Tenten, and Neji. Arashi was already being healed from her 'injuries' by Sakura and the others were attacking. Running through a veil of dissipating smoke, I could see the concerned looks on a few faces as they kept attacking.

"Kumori 'tebayo!" Naruto yells and I fake an almost-faint as he catches me.

"Naruto…" I say smiling tiredly. It really had been a long day and the chakra draining handcuffs were getting to me.

"It's gonna be okay, Kumori," He says putting one arm behind my neck and the other underneath my legs.

"Fall back!" Shikamaru yells as Deidara darts out and throws his art at us. Tobi's behind him yelling things about being a good boy. The run back to the village is fast so Arashi and I can be taken to the hospital. We're checked over and cleared to go, seeing as our self-inflicted injuries weren't too bad.

"I'm fine dammit!" I hear a feminine voice shouting from down the hall as Arashi and I walk out. "KYA! NEEDLE! RUN AWAY!" My partner and I flatten ourselves against opposite walls of the hospital as a girl flies out of the torture- I mean healing place. Yes, I'm sirius. She really did fly. Dark grey wings that almost touch my nose make me push myself up against the wall farther.

"GET BACK HERE TORI!" An older nurse whose voice reminded me of a squawking chicken's howls and shakes her fist once Tori is out of the front doors. "I swear that girl…" She goes back shaking her head and mumbling under her breath about her.

"Who's that?" I ask looking out where she ran.

"Kurayami Tori," Arashi says running a hand through her hair. "She's friends with the Rookie Brats. She's really a pain, especially if she keeps getting strong,"

"What's her fighting style?"

"Taijutsu mostly but a little wind and fire style,"

"And she can fly?"

"And she can fly,"

"D*mn,"

"Yep," We both look at each other, sigh, and go to get Ichiraku.

"Look who it is," I say under my breath as we wait for our orders to come. "The girl from before," Shooting sideways glances down the row, we can see Tori sitting a few seats away. Her silver hair is hanging down her back and one clump of hair is hanging over her eye, just a little shorter than Deidara's. Her red eyes are fixed on her food as if she's trying to move it with her mind.

"We're going to have to take all of them down once the signal is given," Arashi says under her breath as our food is set in front of us.

"Leader-sama sure is taking his sweet time," I grumble breaking my chopsticks apart. Thanks for the food," I add before digging in.

"Thanks for the food," She agrees moodily. We eat in silence as Tori finally picks up her chopsticks and beings to eat.

"Tori-san!" Everyone's favorite green spandex-clad ninja comes bounding up and she smiles a little.

"Hi Lee, what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you would like to train with Gai-sensei and me!" He flashes a blinding smile and strikes his good guy pose. She laughs and slurps up the last of her noodles before nodding.

"I'd love to," She gets up and walks away from the counter, hastily throwing money at it when she realizes she forgot to pay. "Sorry old man!" He says something under his breath and goes back to making ramen. A small messenger hawk lands on Arashi's shoulder and she blinks before taking the scroll out of its leg.

"It's from Pein…" Her voice betrays her as she pales slightly.


	9. Time

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 9 Time

**Sorry to all the readers of Insaner than we Look… A slight case of writer's block has plagued my mind. ." I'm sorry; I'll try to update soon! Until then, I'll keep Others and Stupidity coming out until it goes away.**

**KiraUzumaki: Thanks! :3 There's still a lot to come.**

**Bloodyscribble: Ha-ha nice and I wish! *sigh* It's really sweet that you would offer though, I love chatting to my reviewers!**

**Killerwing x Gaara: You'll find out in this chapter! **

**theoretical indecisive-ness: I'm glad you FINALLY came back! XD Am I writing her right? I always worry about that when I'm working with other people's OCs. I'm glad you like!**

**Hidan's Little Riku: Thanks for the Favorite and Alert~! I am! Don't worry! XD **

**Thanks to Eraluan for the alert!! *youthful sob* I feel so loved! Thank you all! Italics is flashback/dream… just so you know. AND THIS STORY ISN'T OVER! Just because this chapter is shorter than most (because it's setting you up for what's about to happen) doesn't mean it's over.**

_"You're kidding me. This can't be happening," _

_"It is. The Akatsuki has collapsed." _

_"Oh Kami," _

_"If we're not careful we're going to be killed,"_

_"I'm leaving," _

_"Don't!"_

_"I have to. Konoha isn't the place for me. You know that."_

_"Then take me with you,"_

_"You know I can't do that either. We'll meet again,"_

_"You're quieter than usual, "_

"I'm fine, really,"

_"You're hiding something,"_

"No I'm not,"

_"Why are you crying?"_

_"I just had something in my eye, I'm fine,"_

_"Stop lying to us!"_

_"I'm not lying!" _

_"There you go again,"_

_"Just let it go, I'm fine,"_

_"You always say that but I know you're not!" _

I wake up, putting a hand over my pounding heart. It's been a just over a year since the Akatsuki collapsed and Arashi left. I'm the last ex-Akatsuki in Konoha and hating it. Arashi won't let me leave, though. She says that keeping me here is better than letting me go. The Rookie Nine are somewhat fond of me. She can't let me go just yet, she keeps saying.

_"Don't worry Kumori. I'm forming Keimei right now. Within the end of the year, we're going to be as notorious as the Akatsuki ever was. I'm already finding all of our old 'friends' and they're eager to get back in our old business."_ is what she wrote in the last paragraph of her letter. I want to go back to my adoptive family. Most of all, I've realized recently, I want to go back to the lifestyle I had before I met the Akatsuki. I miss my lazy lifestyle and I miss Yuki. I miss Byakko and I even miss Pron-Boss. Yeah…I'm going insane.

I close my eyes and flop back onto the pillows of my bed, suppressing a groan when the urge to curl up and go back to sleep becomes almost overwhelming.

"I just wanna go home," I mumble burying my face into my pillow. "Stupid Akatsuki,"

_You don't mean that._ My inner croons. _You love them~_

_Do not. It's all their fault that I'm like this, that I'm not still working at the library with Pron-Boss breathing down my neck, that I'm not with Yuki and Byakko…I miss the two of them so much…_

_Wimp_

_WHAT?!_

_You heard me._

_SILENCE! I KILL YOU!_

I then try to beat my inner self up. Again. As you know, I always forget that beating myself up ends in pain for the both of us, mostly me of course. Heh. Like I've told you countless times before, I'm stupid. I despite my black hair I really am blond on the inside.

"Kumori! Are you up 'tebayo?!" Naruto asks banging on my door.

"I'm up! Door's open," I call from my room, shutting the door so I can get dressed.

"You're late 'tebayo," Naruto says leaning against my door.

"Sorry," I grumble tugging my normal shirt down as I walk out into the family room. The little blond Hokage mini-me has already opened up one of the packages of instant ramen I keep around the house, heated it, and made himself perfectly at home. I told him to make himself at home once and he took that literally instead of being polite. "I was up late last night; we had a mission, remember?"

"That doesn't give you an excuse for forgetting to train with me," He says puffing his cheeks out to show his anger. "Oh yeah, I got your newspaper,"

"Thanks," I yawn swatting him on the top of the head before getting myself a cup of tea. "Want one?"

"I'm good with ramen," He says with a huge grin.

"Where's Tori? I thought we were going to be training with her too,"

"Oh yeah…I guess she overslept like you did…"

"DID NOT!" The two of us scream in surprise from the sudden voice behind us. Tori's hanging upside down from my ceiling, her white hair hanging upside down as well. "Naru-baka over there went to the wrong d*mn training ground. You said the one by the Forest of Death, not the one by the Academy!"

"You were spying on me?!" He says choking on his ramen slightly. I lean over and sharply swat him on the back once to keep him from dying.

"…" She grins sheepishly. "Just a little," She holds her index finger and thumb up, putting them close together to show how small.


	10. Dangerous

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 10

**OMG! I MADE IT TO THE TENTH CHAPTER! *confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling* I can't believe that I've made it this far with a sequel. :D It's because of you guys that I'm doing so well, your reviews keep me going!!! This chapter is going to be longer than the last, I promise!**

**Hidan's Little Riku: Thanks! *glomps* **

**SnowsShadow: Yes! He's alive! And me? I'm fine! Don't worry, he's not going to be alone for long. :3 Good idea.**

**Bloodyscribble: I'd love to read it!! And it is, this is going to be longer, I swear!**

**KiraUzumaki: thank you so much! Even short reviews are amazing!**

**ShamanicNinja: XD I try to make Kumori believable, try to make people able to relate to her. And really? O_O" That's kinda weird, in a good way!**

**Starfire54: She and Kumori are going to get close soon. *mysterious grin***

**Theoretical Indecisive-ness: Mmm, that's a good idea~ I might. I said finally because I love your reviews~ *kya~* I can't resist the eyes!**

**Thanks to Starfire54 for the alert and favorite, to Zanyx for the favorite, to ShamanicNinja for the story and favorite alert AND the AUTHOR favorite and alert *zomg!*, and to Nymphoro for the alert! Every thing you guys do for me makes me want to sing praises of your support!! (this chapter is over two thousand words if anyone is interested…)**

My hands are shaking. Such a little thing, yet it's taken so many ways.

"Kumori? Kumori you don't have to go on this mission if it's going to be so hard on you," Tsunade's voice seems distant.

"No," I hear myself say. "I want to do this…I need to do this,"

"You don't have to if you don't want to," She says and her hand finds my arm.

"I want to," I say pulling my arm away gently. "I need to. Who am I going with?"

"Tori, she's the only one willing to go,"

"Willing or insane enough?" She laughs.

"Both," I shrug slightly and put my pinky nail into my mouth after pushing my glasses up.

"When are we leaving?"

"As soon as possible, this is going to be a risky mission. You never know when they might come back,"

"Got it,"

"She's being contacted as we speak. Meet her in front of the gates in two hours,"

"Yes ma'am," I bow quickly and start running back toward my house. I'm giggling on the inside. "Home, home, home!" I start throwing things into my mission bag. "I'm going home~"

You heard me. I'm going back to Akatsuki…kinda. Tsunade is sending Tori and I on a mission to check out the abandoned hideout to try and figure out what happened. I jump into the shower and wash up as fast as humanly possible before pulling my hair back into a tiny ponytail. My red streak hangs in my face and I bounce across the room to close up my apartment until I get back. I grab my faithful water bottle and fill it up before glancing at the time and swearing loudly.

"Bye house" I say as I lock the door like I always did before a mission. It just felt right to say goodbye to it. I'm on the run again. A snail zooms past me and an earthquake breaks out because I'm fat-ish. Just kidding…mostly.

"You're late," Tori says crossing her arms and unfolding her wings impatiently. "It's already sunset,"

"You know I'm not good at keeping a timetable," I say sweatdropping slightly.

"At least you're better than Kakashi," She mumbles and flies up into the air with her smile glinting dangerously. I sigh and wish I could fly as Kisu stirs in my pocket. I put a hand on top of him and he calms down. Deidara's 'art' is notoriously familiar to most people and I can't risk being noticed, not now. I'm so close to my goal I can almost taste it. I look down at where my ring would be and tighten my fist.

"I'm not going to mess this up," I say to myself and jump after my teammate. Neither of us talks too much and it's well after dark when we stop to setup camp. "I'll go scout to see if we're any danger," She nods and starts working on building a fire.

Kisu pushes out of my pocket once we're far enough away from her. Tori's a sweet girl and all but I can't trust anyone. Even letting her see Kisu could risk my life. I let my legs carry me and I close my eyes. The trees are familiar. We're close. I take a deep breath of night air and open my eyes again.

_Our camp is only a few miles away from the hideout but it'll be noon before we get there._ I remind myself as I stop a ways away. It seems untouched. If I hadn't known better I would have said that it was still inhabited. Emotions swell in my chest as I turn to go back to camp.

_Home_ My heart says like a pitiful child.

_Camp_ My brain says firmly, leaving no room for discussion.

_Family_

"Took you long enough," Tori yawns as she lays on her side. A fire is crackling cheerily and I can see a thin strip of stomach where her hoodie doesn't cover.

"Sorry, I thought someone was following me but it turned out to be a bird,"

"Some d**n good ninja you are!" She chuckles slightly and watches as I start making us instant ramen. We lapse into a comfortable silence as I cook before a question spills from my lips.

"Why do you have wings and a tail and stuff?" Seeing the look on her face I instantly wish I could take it back. Pain, regret, hatred, and other emotions I can't name flash across her face and she goes blank, just like a shinobi should.

"I-I don't know,"

Huh?

I keep quiet and my eyes bore into hers, searching for an answer.

"I remember that I didn't have wings or a tail or anything before…I dunno when though." She wraps her arms around herself. "Memories before all this are few and fuzzy. I know I didn't have this before, though," She flaps her wings out so that one brushes my arm.

"You just woke up like this?" I frown. She nods. "A little strange, but so's my story,"

"What's your story?" She asks quietly and I chuckle.

"You don't wanna know, honey," I say still chuckling slightly. "You wouldn't believe me anyway,"

"Try me," I give her a sideways smile.

"Nice try," She pouts slightly and crosses her arms. "We should get some sleep,"

"Yeah, tomorrow we get to break into the old base!" She punches the air and grins. "It's going to be great!"

"Mmm-hmm, now get to sleep. It's going to be a long day," She yawns and lays back against a tree, wrapping her wings around herself. I scoot a little closer to the fire before falling asleep, ready to go home.

"Finally!" Tori falls flat on her face when we reach the hideout. "That took forever~ I hate it when it takes that long with the intensity of a thousand baked potatoes fresh from the oven! Cha!" I sigh slightly and pick her up under her armpits.

"C'mon klutzy, let's get this over with,"

_CHA! I'M NEVER GOING TO LEAVE THIS PLACE! THIS IS MY HOME! SHANNARO!_ My inner is pumped about being back, as you can see. Tori waves her arms around frantically.

"C'mon Kumori! Don't you think this is going to be fun?! We're going to be in a real live Akatsuki hideout!"

_It really isn't that cool…_

"I guess…I bet it's like any other house though," She looks at me like I'm insane. "Just watch out for traps okay? They might have left a few just incase,"

"Incase what?"

"Incase people like us try to break in," I shrug and she kicks a door in. Inhaling deeply reminds me of everything I've missed all the time I've been gone. Everything looks the same…just dustier.

"Okay! We're inside!" She goes chibi. "Kya~ this is so cool! All my friends are going to be JEALOUS! AND THEY F**KING SHOULD BE!" Her voice echoes off the walls, making me flinch slightly.

"No need to yell. You go this way and I'll go that way," I say pointing down two opposite hallways keeping my inner from taking over. She'd have me knock Tori out and run down the halls naked or something stupid like that.

"Don't act so d**n stoic just because you're the leader of this mission," She says pouting. "You're not Uchiha."

"Don't die~" I wave as I walk down the hall. I hear her mocking me behind my back but pointedly choose to ignore it. I close my eyes, mapping my route in my mind.

"It feels so good to be home," I murmur letting my fingers trail along the wall as I walk. Everything was so familiar, yet so different from what I remembered.

"It's good to have you back," I gasp and turn around. Sasori's ghostly figure looms in front of me.

"Sasori-san! Why are you still here?" His lips twitch slightly in what I'm sure is a smile.

"I knew you'd be sent back here so I decide to wait on you," Chibi tears fill my eyes.

"Kya~ that's so sweet~" He ruffles my hair and I close my eyes as I smile.

"I assume Arashi has been keeping you updated about Keimei?" Nod.

"Yeah! It sounds like it'll be even better than the Akatsuki ever was! Plus, she's leader so it'll be interesting to say the least," He closes his eyes, thinking.

"Did she ever tell you that Hidan grew a pair and kissed her?"

"No way, really?!"

"I saw it with my own two eyes," My eyes shimmer with happy tears.

"My little Arashi has finally grown up! Plus I can tease her about being taken now! Hee-hee-hee, I'm so evil I amaze myself," I rub my hands together evilly and his face returns to its normal deadpan.

"…" He watches me rub my hands faster and faster as my thoughts get eviler and eviler. "Kisame's coming,"

"WHAT?!" I fall over as his words hit me like an arrow to the chest.

"Arashi knows you're here."

"Oh, so now that she's the leader of Keimei that gives her the power to know every-f**king-thing?!"

"How do you think Leader-sama got to be himself?" I slump and sigh.

"Fine. Are you gonna be at the Keimei hideout when Arashi gives me the word to ditch Konoha?" He nods. "Good 'cause you owe me more piano lessons! I'm getting rusty~" He ruffles my hair again but stiffens suddenly. I feel a presence behind me and I swear loudly.

"Not good," Sasori says taking a step in front of me. I can easily see through him, though.

Tori has heard everything.

My mission has failed if I let her go.

I'm dead.

I'm not just dead.

I'm super-f**king-de-duper dead.

Oh Kami Arashi's going to have me skinned, killed, brought back to life, and then killed again. Slowly. She'd been listening with her chakra masked and was so surprised that I was Akatsuki she unmasked it by mistake.

I fly at her with a kunai, pinning her to the wall.

"Sasori! Get Kisame to get his blue a$$ over here! I dunno how long she'll be like this!"

"Got it," He nods sharply and disappears. Tori's eyes are huge and she hasn't moved since I pinned her. Her mouth is in a small surprised shape and I can barely feel her breathing.

"H-How could you Kumori? How could you be lying to us this entire d**n TIME?!"

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you the truth," I hiss as she starts to squirm. Arashi's shadow appears in front of me, much like the Akatsuki clones when they appear for a sealing.

"Kisame is on his way. Don't kill the girl. She knows too much but she may be useful. You're insanely lucky you're my partner and that I'm in a good mood, Mitsukai." Her tone is deathly cold.

"Trust me, I'm counting my blessings," I activate a shaky genjutsu in an attempt to hold her back. It kind of works and she's incapacitated for the time being. I hear heavy footsteps as Arashi disappears. I let the jutsu go and duck as Samehada embeds itself in the wall, inches from Tori's left ear. The scales are wriggling excitedly. Bad. Very bad. "Took you long enough," Kisame lows his head so it's near my cheek.

"Sorry, I sped up when I heard you brought us a toy, though," Tori's eyes are huge.

"If you're going to kill me, do it now! I'm not going to betray Konoha," He scoffs.

"We have ways of making your kind break, Dragon Girl," Samehada is at her neck now, sucking away her chakra and some of her blood. Enough for her to loose consciousness.

"Don't…call me…that," She manages closing one eye against the pain before she faints.

"You are SO dead if you're not careful," Kisame says slinging my ex-partner over his shoulder. I nod and shoot a glance down the hall.

"I know,"


	11. Kisses so Sweet

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 11 Kisses so Sweet

**Sorry it took so long to update! I've gotten distracted by a new anime called School Rumble *TwT* I really like it and I've had a little trouble with this chapter. *sighs* SOOOOOOO SORRY~**

**Likes To Smile: It's fine! You're not stupid~ I've done the same thing soooo many times. Thanks for the Author Alert!!! IT'S A WORD NOW! :D**

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**ShamanicNinja: So true, you can't help but love him! And thanks, that quote is my favorite so far**

**SnowsShadow: YAY FOR RABID FANGIRLS! Am I getting her right? I've already screwed up Tori…*hugs back***

**Bloodyscribble: I'll see what I can do! Sounds good to me. I just need a character description. o.O' Ouch.**

**Starfire54: WOO! XD Let's hear it for fangirls!**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: I love your reviews and f**k, really? . I was afraid of that. Thank you so much! *sob, sob, sob* You're sooooo gracious! Don't cry! The fact that you review so much makes me happy~**

"And as punishment, you'll do everyone's chores for a month AND…" I wince slightly, preparing for the worst.

"You have to go cliff diving with me later."

"Eh?"

"Cliff diving. Dangerous, deadly, fun," A small smirk crosses her face. "Meet me at the gate at six, if you're late I'll hunt you down," I nod with a small smile.

"See you then Arashi,"

"Dismissed," I bow before leaving the room, slightly relieved. That wasn't half as bad as it could have been. I pass a mirror on my way to the kitchen, my stomach complaining the entire time. I freeze and it growls, obviously not happy with the lack of munchies.

My eyes are sunken in with sleep, or lack there fore of. My hair's greasy-ish and my top lip is still split from our last mission. My glasses have a crack in the stem, making them hang weird on my ears, slightly crooked. Finally, finally, my hitai-ate is scored. I look at the girl in the mirror as she reaches up and runs a finger through the score. It feels like a clean cut, a clean sever with the village. Just like it should be.

But it hurts.

_They trusted you_ My inner makes an appearance, strangely pensive. _They're not going not be happy when they figure out we stole their dragon._

_Tori isn't a dragon, she's a girl_ I throw back angrily and she holds up her hands in self-defense.

_Just saying…You betrayed their trust because of a stupid mistake_

_The hell's that supposed to mean?! What was I supposed to do? Not follow orders? "Gee, Arashi, I just don't feel like being an S-ranked criminal any more. Can I go back to having a normal life again?" Yeah, she'd take that real well._

_THEY F*CKING TRUSTED YOU!_ Her words hit me like a ton of bricks and I crumple like a flower under someone's boot. Stupid boot. _Of course they were going to trust you! You charmed the sh!t out of them. How couldn't they love you? You look like Getsu and You. Used. Them._

_Shut up_ She's not even close to done.

_You're pathetic Kumori. You're like some lap dog, willing to do anything just to get a god d*mned head pat from that a$$hole Pein._

_Shut up!_

_You sucked up to the Hokage, you used the fact that you looked like the recently deceased girl they had all loved to your advantage. You tapped into their sympathy and ripped them to shreds without them knowing._

"SHUT UP!" I scream putting my hands over my ears, pulling my knees to my chest, and start bawling like a baby. Footsteps pound down the hall and our favorite blond Akatsuki skids to a stop in front of me.

"Kumori-chan, yeah?" He asks bending down in front of me. He's on his hands and knees, reaching out for me tentatively when I open my eyes. Tears blur my vision but I see the concern written on his face. I start crying harder and he pulls me into a hug, sitting. "Hey, it's okay, shh, I've got you un," I wrap my arms around his neck and sob into his shoulder.

"No it's not," I blubber. "I used them, abused them, and betrayed them," His eyes widen in realization and his grip tightens.

"I know, yeah, but you did it because you had to. You were more or less forced into the Akatsuki. They didn't know that. You did what Leader-sama told you or else he would have killed you, un," His words don't help. "I would have done the same thing, yeah." That helps a little. His hand goes up to the back of my head and he strokes my hair as I cry.

"Sorry," I say when the tears stop flowing.

"It's fine, yeah," He says looking me in the eye. "Are you okay, un?" I nod and get up.

"Thanks" He grunts and we continue down the hall.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I think mentally beating myself up. _Ninja don't show emotion! Especially not Akatsuki_ I pass a window and glance outside to see it raining. A small smile creeps onto my face as I open the window and slip out.

It's raining harder than I thought and before long the thin material of my shirt is soaked. I smile and throw my hands out, letting the rain wash away what had just happened.

_This is so idiotic…but strangely satisfying…_ Spinning in circles with my head tilted back, I know I look like a mental kid on Monster. Mmm…Monster… I collapse in a dizzied pile after a few minutes of spinning. My brain can't figure out what's up and my vertigo is insane. Legs: Jello. Arms: Pudding. Head: Fork in the garbage disposal. Just like normal. I roll onto my back and let the rain fall. The sun starts to go behind one of the mountains in the distance and I get up, futilely trying to get the mud off me. I sigh and watch it set, the pinks and reds and oranges coloring the sky beautifully.

Footsteps approach behind me and I don't have to sense their chakra to know who it is.

"You're going to catch a cold out here," Kisame says putting my Akatsuki cloak over my shoulders.

"Thanks," I shiver unconsciously and pull it closer, looking out of the corner of my eye at him. He nods and I turn my gaze back to the sunset. We're quiet for a while. I sneeze. He chuckles a little. "What?!" I'm trying to act angry but I inhale hard through my nose, squinching my face together when something makes my nose tingle.

"That was a cute sneeze," He says nonchalantly. I sneeze again and he chuckles again.

"Don't laugh at my sneezes," I put my hands on my hips and turn to face him. His hair is lying flat against his face and a few stray raindrops are streaming down it, accenting his high cheekbones.

"I'm not laughing," He says, the small smile that had been on his lips disappearing.

"Are too,"

"Are not," He turns to face me as well, a childish argument breaking out. It ends quickly in a draw. I shiver and sneeze again.

This time he has the decency to not laugh.

"I was chuckling," He says in his defense when I glare at him.

"Giggling," I say getting up on my tiptoes to glare at him closer.

"Chuckling, giggling isn't manly,"

"God forbid you're not manly!" He leans closer to me so that I can feel his breath on my nose.

"D*mn straight"

"Of course, oh manly man!" He chuckles again and leans a little closer. My eyes search his and I feel like I can see into the depths of his soul. And I like it. It's a good feeling. Suddenly my head is reeling and I'm wondering how I look.

_Is my hair okay? Is my shirt see-through? Don't let him see my fat!_

"Kumori?" He asks, his breath hitting my lips. I inhale it gently. It smells like toothpaste… very minty. And manly.

"Yeah?" I ask trying not to breath on him so much. I bet I still have morning breath. Suddenly his lips are on mine and I can't breath. My heart is going a tra-zillion beats per second and I feel like I'm on cloud nine. I close my eyes, whimpering mentally when he pulls away.

"I'm sorry I-" He starts to stand back up but I catch his lips in mine again, putting my hands on the back of his neck and standing on tiptoes. To my surprise… he kisses me back. "I know,"


	12. Margin for Error

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 12 Margin for Error

**Hey guys! Kumori here. Angel has fainted because there has been so much good feed back. Yeah… Don't think she'll be waking up before the Author's Note is over. Don't worry! I'll make sure she wakes up before the chapter starts. *sigh* She won't tell me what she's planning for me and Kisame but she says you're going to love it... She said you guys were going to love the fluff and from what she's let me see you guys are eating it up! Very fluffy chapter ahead, she'd said in our planning meeting. It's pretty much she rants to me about what she wants to do in the next chapter and asks me how much I hate it on a scale of one to ten. If it's a ten or above it automatically gets in the chapter. See how much she- *Angel comes back* **

***anger vein* I go out to the store to get decorations for my reviewers' appreciation party for TEN minutes and you've hacked my computer, pulled up word, and started typing up the next chapter?! God Kumori, you really are stupid. Eh…the party can wait until the end of the chapter I guess… *throws confetti and cookies at passing reviewers anyway* 8D I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWS!!! The reviewers are even better though ;D**

**SnowsShadow: ^^ I'm glad you like it so much! *sends Sasori to Anna in a box* You can borrow him for a while~ I'll steal him when I need him back. XD**

**Hidan's little Riku: Heh-heh, even fish-people need love! I'm personally a huge Kisame fangirl so that chapter was a pure bliss for me to write. Sorry~**

**Likes to Smile: I'll be sure to look for it! XD *sends Pein over to make it rain* Spin away! I loved writing the kiss scene… *squee* It was so cute I'm really happy with how it turned out! Still loving your reviews.**

**KiraUzumaki: Ha-ha nice! *high fives* Mine's always a mess though…**

**ShamanicNinja: *pouts* You're not the only one. I bet he's got a really well-toned chest… *drools* Thanks so much!!**

**Bloodyscribble: *happy sob* I LOVE THE BEAUTIFUL BIG WORDS! *goes to get a dictionary* Wow! I'm really happy for you! ^^ Nice, yeah. XD Just kidding, I'm not mocking you. I did that for about a week and all my friends looked at me like I'm insane. The sooner the better would be nice**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: You have now! :D It doesn't but it does, which doesn't make sense either. *Kisame/Kumori blush looking away***

Kisame pulls away first. I whine quietly but he reaches out and ruffles my hair gently. He bends down and kisses my forehead. I look up, my eyes sparkling.

"We should do that again some time," His voice is husky. A delicious shiver runs down my spine and I hesitantly put my arms around his stomach. My ear is just bellow his chest, which expands with each breath. His heart is still pounding just like mine. His arms go around me and we stand there for a few seconds, just enjoying each other's presence. "Soon,"

"Yeah," I say breathlessly and he smiles, letting me see all of his pointy teeth. "I should get going…I have cliff diving with Arashi in a few minutes."

"Probably should." Neither of us move. I smile slightly and get up on tiptoes to kiss him again. He presses his lips to mine briefly but pulls away, smirking slightly.

"Now I REALLY should go. Arashi's gonna be PO'd if I'm late." He leans down and wraps his arms around me.

"Try not to have too much fun,"

"Trust me I won't," I grumble

…line…line…line…line…

"Say what?" I ask making it come out as "sey whut?" and sounding like a total dork. Arashi facepalms.

"It's not that hard! You jump off the cliff and land with chakra in your feet so you don't break all bones in your legs," She says, her voice slightly muffled behind her hand. I open my mouth to ask another question but she gets frustrated and shoves me off the cliff. I scream loudly and I swear I hear her chuckling as I fall.

The ground is coming up toward me very, very fast. I squeal in surprise and scramble to get upright, forcing chakra into my feet. I hit the ground, hard. Thankfully it doesn't feel like anything is broken, except the ground around me…I'm standing in the middle of a small crater. Cackling from above is getting closer and I look up, squeal again, and dive out of the way of Arashi plummeting down head first. She tucks and straightens out at the last minute, landing without a sound.

_Dammit she makes it look so easy!_ Inner Kumori says mentally punching her in the face. _I could do that if I wanted to! Cha!_

"Easy," She says flipping her hair over her shoulder breezily. I glare. "What? Don't you like it?" She fakes shocked.

"Too much margin for error, you know that I can barely walk in a straight line." I grouse shoving my hands into my pockets. She waves off my complaint like it's nothing.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get better at it as time goes on,"

Huh?

"You mean we're coming BACK?!" I screech making all the birds around us fly away.

"Duh, I'm not going to let you stop until you don't make a huge crater when you land,"

"But I'm fat~" I whine and she's about to respond but tenses.

"Sh!t," I open my mouth to question the sudden swear but I feel it too.

"Shinobi," We both breathe at the same time. Her hands are automatically at her weapons' pouch getting out a few kunai and wire. She makes it look like it comes naturally to her. I do something less cool…I force chakra into my hands and get ready to attack whatever I can get my hands on.

"Shouldn't we call for some back up? There's a lot of them," I mumble and she nods.

"Already on their way," She says as she swings her first kunai in a circle, making it get a good amount of momentum. I shake the chakra out of my hands and create a clone to stand next to me. She grins, already reading my mind. Her hands fly into seals, holding the jutsu until the ninja come closer.

"Heh, this is going to be interesting,"

**Yeah…a shorter more of a filler chapter… *ducks tomatoes* Sorry about that! The next chapter will have a decent fight scene hopefully…I'm really bad at those… XP**


	13. Run Away, Run Away I'll Attack

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 13 Run Away, Run Away. I'll Attack.

***bows* I apologize profusely for the short filler-ness of last chapter. That was indeed a filler *sheepish smile* I promise that this chapter will be longer and even have a fight scene (which I might fail at but oh well)! Thanks for sticking with me and let's hope this is Lucky 13~ I'm having tons of fun writing this story so there should be somewhere around twenty chapters…I'll let you know when I decide how many I'm gonna write…**

**Likes To Smile: XD You're welcome! I'm glad he's helped you. You'll find out and I'd probably kill my inner after a while if she said that… Thank you soooo much~**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: O_O Can you teach me how to do that? You have a bucket list? Ha-ha so do I! If you can't die easily, why not risk it all? SnowsShadow gave me the idea for that, you can thank her! Hee-hee… That makes no sense but still~ I'm glad you like them! :D**

**KiraUzumaki: *happy sniffle* Your support always makes me so happy!**

**THANKS TO ALL MY AMAZING REVIEWERS! *makes it rain cookies* ^^ I'm saving up reviews for a CONFETTI CANNON! :D**

After sending my clone out to meet the rest of the Keimei members, I crack my knuckles nervously, regretting it instantly. "Um, ow,"

"You're pathetic," Arashi says rolling her eyes. "Oh, well lookie who it is, Konoha shinobi. Surprise, surprise," The Rookie Eight plus Sai emerge from the shrubbery, Naruto in front of course. His eyes narrow when he sees the scored headbands.

"K-Kumori," He meets my gaze and I smile.

"You really had no idea, did you Naruto?" His hands ball into fists and his eyes flame as he runs at me.

"RAAAAAAH!" His fist flies at me and I dodge, kicking him hard in the stomach. He flies back toward the group, knocking Hinata to the ground when she tries to catch him. "Dammit, dattebayo," He growls.

"What do you want?" Arashi asks picking her nails carelessly and still spinning the kunai. Oh yeah, mad skills. "We've got work to do,"

"What are Akatsuki doing here on the Konoha border?" Shikamaru asks pulling a kunai out of his pouch. She sighs.

"Guess you guys haven't heard the news," She sounds almost regretful.

"What news?" Sakura finds her voice, glaring at me slightly.

"The Akatsuki collapsed months ago," I say nonchalantly. "We are Keimei, a different organization under Arashi as our leader,"

"What happened to your old leader?" She asks, probably taking notes to give back to Tsunade.

"For all we know he could be dead," Arashi says shrugging. "Now are you going to leave or are we going to have to fight you off our land?"

"You a$$holes took Tori didn't you?" Kiba asks glaring death at us. Oh if looks could kill…

"Maybe," She smirks. "What of it?"

"You'd better give her back or you'll regret it!" He snarls.

"Ooo, we're shaking! I'm so scared! Only thing I'm regretting is how long this is taking. I've got things to do," She says rolling her eyes. "C'mon, Kumori," I nod and turn around to follow her but run straight into Kisame.

"Party's over already?" He asks pulling Samehada out with a huge pointy grin. "No blood yet… Means we're right on time,"

"Y-You brought all of them?" Ino stutters. Arashi grins.

"If we're going to kill you, why not make it big? We might, just might let one of you run free to tell of the horrors Keimei brought down on you. Heh, probably not though," She catches the kunai she'd been swinging with a twisted smile. "Alright guys," She straightens her arm so that the kunai is facing toward the Konoha shinobi. "Show them what Keimei is made of,"

All hell breaks loose. In less than a second, everything has changed and everyone is in battle. Me? I'm up against Hinata.

"I won't lose to you," She says bending down into her Jyuuken pose.

"I won't lose to you either," I grin cruelly. "That means that someone's goin' down. And it won't me be," She narrows her pale eyes.

"Byakugan! Eight Trigrams: Two Palms!" She hits two of my chakra points. "Four Palms!" She goes to hit four more but my clone drops down out of God knows where, hitting her in the small of her back hard with her heels. The other me winks and disappears in a puff of smoke.

The Hyuuga heiress gets back up off the ground shakily and straightens back out into an attack position. Her eyes still have the Byakugan blazing and I jump back into a tree to try and get a plan. She follows but doesn't make any move to attack yet. The battle rages on around us and I almost fall out of the tree I'm standing in. So Pinky isn't totally worthless after all…

"Think, Kumori, think," I mumble, racking my brain for something I could do to end this battle quickly. "That might work…"

I pull all the kunai I can hold and make more with a genjutsu. I throw them at the girl, the fake ones before the real, the real ones made to look like they're flaming, thanks to another genjutsu. A few hit their mark but it's only a few scratches. A shriek from her lets me know that the genjutsu has registered.

I walk over casually and bend down to knock her out but I feel something sharp at my neck.

"That was clever," I say as Hinata walks around in front of me, kunai pointed close to my neck. "You made a clone of yourself while I was planning and left her to take the blame. Very smart," She smiles a little. "But not smart enough," I grab her arm and flip her over my shoulder, smirking when she cries out as she hits the ground.

I kick her in the side a few times before she grabs my foot and twists it hard enough to make me yelp.

_That'll hurt later_ My inner muses with and starts snickering.

_It's your body too_ That gets her to shut up. She flips me over onto my back and jumps up. Her glowing hands come fast and I focus chakra into my own. It takes a couple tries but I'm able to cut off the chakra supplies in her wrists by pure luck.

"Not so tough now?" I grin as she pales slightly. My heart clenches when I remember how young she is.

_I can't kill her…She's still got so much life left to live, even though she's a shinobi._ I nod slightly to myself, the plan making itself clearer in my mind.

Her breath is ragged and I can see the fear in her eyes. For most S-ranked ninja this would be a rush but it just makes me feel sick. My stomach is churning but I push down the sick feeling that rises in the back of my throat. There's a cut over her eye that's slowly, steadily bleeding.

_Here goes nothing_ I think as my gaze meets hers. Her eyes flicker as she switches off the Byakugan and now she looks even weaker, more vulnerable. She got a few good hits on me and I wince slightly when I stand up. She watches me, fear shining in her eyes but she's careful to keep her face bland.

I run at her, praying that I would be able to get this done without killing her. I've never killed anyone before and I don't want her to be the first.

Forcing chakra into my feet, my speed increases and I'm able to get closer faster. I pull a kunai out of my pocket and turn it so the sharp edge is facing me. I'm behind her within a few seconds and I hit a pressure point on the back of her neck. She falls unconscious instantly and pitches forward.

"Sorry Hinata," I murmur watching the dust settle around her.

"HINATA-CHAN!" I whip around, my hair fanning slightly. My eyes get huge when I see who it is. Naruto. And he's started to go Kyuubi.

Oh _sh!t_.


	14. Not as Easy as it Looks

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 14

**I am so sorry about the last chapter. Yeah Kumori was really OOC and it was confusing, I feel really bad! It was a sucky chapter so to make up for it this one is going to be LONGER and BETTER! See? To prove my point I capitalized. Oh yeah, I'm amazing. I'm starting this late at night so hopefully it'll be good. If you guys know me from the other Author's Notes I've written you'll understand that I write better at night, when I'm tired. *points at username sheepishly* But I don't care if you call me Angel. I actually prefer it~ XD**

**Killerwing X Gaara: Hee-hee-hee you'll see~ 8D**

**KiraUzumaki: Yay! She's believable! *dances badly* Ouch, sorry about that…I've never been able to crack my knuckles. XD**

**SnowsShadow: *dances like she has to pee* I'm still really sorry~ I'm probably going to end up rewriting this so I can change her a bit, if you want. I want to keep other people's OC's as much in character as possible. **

**Sasori: *light blush***

**Angel: Aww, he loves you too! *dies* I WOULD BE HONORED!!!! Just please tell me the name so I can read it and give you amazingly amazing reviews~ ;D**

**ShamanicNinja: Like I said, that last chapter was a bad one…sorry about the shivering. Ha-ha! Sh!ttles…I like that. You're amazing.**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: *eep!* I really don't wanna die so I think you not telling me would really be the best for the both of us. ^^" I'm laughing so hard I'm crying at your bucket list. Ooo, that gives me an idea for a series of oneshots… *evilly plots* *also grieves* RIP decent Naruto OC's! Thankfully there are a few good ones out there…**

**Likes To Smile: . Maybe~ FISH MAN TO THE RESCUE! *whoosh* OHMYGAWD! It's Captain Planet! Hah, don't tell him I called him that…He'd kill me. And I'm hoping you guys don't want that…**

My breath catches in my throat when I see the red-eyed monster looking straight at me. One tail has already started to form. More are coming. I'm dead. Again. My limbs are shaking and my breath is coming in shorter and shorter breaths. His eyes are focused on mine with a piercing glare and I can tell he's chosen me as his next victim. Kyuubi is taking over Naruto's body thanks to me.

On a scale of one to ten of the stupidest things I've ever done, this is DAAAAAAAAYUM! He growls ferally and my blood runs cold. He's on all four limbs and pacing in front of the fainted Hinata. Protecting his mate, I realize. I see the look in his eyes and I know I'm not going to survive this. My hands are shaking as I put them up and start backing away.

Kyuubi angry!

He's not happy with me just retreating. Oh no, he wants blood for his mate's suffering. My blood.

Oh sh!t.

I take a few hesitant steps back and he growls. I freeze and the growling continues. The fight around us has stopped, I notice taking a quick glance backwards. I swear I see a tumbleweed blow by.

The entire place is barren, everyone stepping back to plan and lick their wounds for a little bit. It's just me and Kyuubi Naruto on the field, facing off like some bad western. A bead of sweat trickles down my neck and I gulp hard.

Naruto growling again rouses me from my thoughts and I pale slightly. He's getting more and more feral so I'm getting closer and closer to death. I shiver slightly and keep my eyes fixed on Kyuubi Naruto as I start backing up again. This time he decides to pounce.

My back hits the ground hard as my glasses go flying, no doubt shattering, and his chakra is bubbling up all over his body, burning mine. I hiss at the pain and aim a punch at him but he catches it easily. The second tail is starting to form and I swear under my breath. He pins me down and sits on my stomach. His chakra-formed ears flop from side to side as he tilts his head, trying to decide what to do with me. It would be adorable if I wasn't at his mercy. My eyes get huge when it looks like he's reached a decision. A smirk crosses his face and his fangs hang out from his top lip.

He gets off of me and picks me up by the collar of my shirt, ripping it in the process so my…mountains are showing a little more than I would have liked them to. His fist pulls back and the punch to the stomach makes me cough up blood.

Oh happy joy yippee. Blood.

A second punch comes to my jaw and I realize he's toying with me. He wants to play with his food before he eats it. Speaking of eating, chakra has started eating away at the top of my shirt.

Oh _hell_ no. Even in a battle I still plan on having a touch of modesty. I force chakra into my foot and I kick him in the stomach, catching him by surprise. And making him even angrier in the process. Dammit.

I land on the ground gracelessly as Kyuubi Naruto skids back a little bit. I'm able to catch my breath for a few second before he charges again. This time in a barrage of punches and kicks. My breath is taken away and I gasp fruitlessly for air, praying for it to stop for two seconds so I can get another breath of life-giving air. I open my eyes, tears blurring my already blurry vision. The final blow is coming fast.

_We have so much to live for! We're too young to die!_ My inner sobs and shields herself as if that could help us at all. I close my eyes again, waiting for the pain to go away.

But it never does.

I squirm a little and almost gasp aloud with the sudden overflow of chakra signature. His eyes are narrowed into slits and he's holding Kyuubi Naruto by the neck. The veins in his hands are showing, pulsing with his heartbeat. Suddenly his chakra signature changes and I muffle a surprised yelp. It almost hurts now. It's starting to feel like Kyuubi Naruto's… Oh Kami. It's starting to radiate off of him now too.

"Kisame!" Arashi lands next to us. He doesn't even blink. I, on the other hand, squee and withdraw. She swats the back of my head. "Kisame calm down, she's alright," He growls and turns his gaze to her. She grabs me roughly, pulling me in front of her. "She's fine, see? Just a little blood. Nothing she didn't go through with training." I smile weakly. He glares and throws Kyuubi Naruto on the ground, leaving him gasping for breath.

Sakura, Kiba, Ino, and Sai all jump down next to him. Ino picks up Hinata and the others all force their chakra into Naruto, helping calm him down a little bit. He's still Kyuubi but his chakra has stopped venting off him. A good sign.

"This isn't over," Kiba growls and my leader laughs, a hard cold laugh.

"Don't think it is. We're just getting our feet wet."

"We're going to bring you down," Sakura's eyes are little slits. Kisame growls again when I step forward to make a very rude remark. I glance back at him and step back, not wanting to bring out the beast again. His arms slide around me as I lean back into him. Ino's eyes get huge and she gapes like a fish out of water.

"You an-and _that_?!" She looks like someone had told her Prada was going out of style. I jerk myself away from Kisame, storm up to the girl, and slap her as hard as I can. That makes the shock grow. We start to walk off back towards the base. "You deserve each other," She says venomously. It takes Kisame, Arashi, AND Zetsu to keep me from mauling the blond.

…line…line…line…line…

I'm still grumbling swears under my breath when Tobi gingerly puts an icepack on my forehead, right on top of a bruise. My hissing at the pain makes him whimper. He ducks his head slightly and hands me another set of glasses. I force a smile and hook them back on my ears.

"It's not your fault, Tobi," I mumble putting my free hand on the icepack to keep it in place. He looks up and I swear I see a hopeful look.

"Is Tobi a good boy?"

"Tobi is a very good boy," He bounces around happily like a little squirrel on Monster. Man he's a hyper little guy for an Akatsuki. He stops bouncing after a while and throws his arms around me.

"Tobi's glad that Kumori-chan didn't get hurt too badly in the fight against Kyuubi," He says into my shoulder as I return the hug.

"I'm glad you're here to look out for me," I say smiling. He grins and bounces out of the room to be replaced by our favorite swordsman.

"Hey," I greet softly and he grunts. "You okay?"

"You're probably wondering about earlier, huh?" His voice is low and even more gravelly. I love it.

"Yeah, what happened?" He sighs and puts a huge hand on my leg. His thumb traces a mindless pattern on my knee and I shiver. He smiles a little, not meeting my gaze.

"I don't think anyone has told you, but I have a demon inside me," He says keeping his voice low like it's a huge secret. "It's nothing like the Bijuu that we've been trying to seal so I'm allowed to keep it. That's why I have so much chakra.

"It's the demon fish Toto, implanted into my body after my graduation to Chunin in the hopes of creating a new race of shinobi that would be faster, stronger, and able to have more chakra. All that worked but I came out looking like this," His grip tightens a little but I say nothing. "They canceled any more experimenting because of the monster I have become to look like. I wasn't always like this…no, I wasn't blue. I had blond hair…lighter than Deidara's. And grey eyes, not these stupid little sh!ts.

"I was five-seven when they implanted him. The surgery was a success as far as they were concerned. I lived a normal life, experimenting with my new power. But I was becoming a monster.

"When two months had passed, Toto tried to take over my body. I was in the middle of training and his chakra came out with mine. My sensei had had a feeling that this was coming and had talked to the Mizukage. He told him what to do and he was just able to beat him back into submission. But it was too late. My body started a rapid growth. I grew to be this tall, turned blue, grew gills. The power and chakra stayed. But I was hideous, I still am. My own girlfriend of three months wouldn't look at me. She broke up with me, calling me a monster.

"It wasn't long after that that Zabuza, one of the few people who didn't care how I looked, suggested that we leave. I didn't think twice when I said yes. I don't regret my decision. When the Seven Swordsman broke up I was recruited by the Akatsuki. I have only loved three girls in my lifetime, not including you. Toto recognizes that. He wants me to protect my mate, you, even if the situation doesn't call for it. He wants me to do so many different things but I'm able to squash his desires most of the time.

"I was so p*ssed off when I saw Kyuubi attack you, Toto adding his input was a little thing but it pushed me over the edge. He took over and that was the animalistic side that took over. He doesn't come out very often but when he does, I can't control myself." He looks slightly ashamed. I put my hand on top of his and squeeze it gently.

"Kisa-kun," He looks up and I put my hand under his chin, making him look me in the eye. "I love you and I don't care if you have a hobo's spirit inhabiting you. You could be bald and beer-bellied and I would still love you. I love you for your personality, not just because you're strong and handsome," He chuckles and cups my chin in his hands, kissing me gently.

"I love you too Kumori-chan and I'm not going to let anything hurt you, ever." He punctuates his words with another passionate kiss and I feel myself melt. We pull away after a while and stay in each other's arms, loving the closeness.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," I mumble, tracing a finger along the gills.

"You're asking for trouble," He says huskily and he kisses my palm.

"Trouble is my middle name,"

"I thought it was stupid,"

"That too,"


	15. Silence isn't Golden

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 15 Silence isn't Golden

**Wow! I really got a ton of reviews for last chapter! WOO-HOO! *happy dances* If you read Others than you'll know that I sent off for my confetti cannon! It got lost somewhere in Austria -.-" It'll be here soon, though! Just in time for the next Others update, according to the manufacturer person I talked to. He kinda sounded like he hated me though…ha-ha probably because I HAVE enough reviews for a confetti cannon!**

**tomato sauce: FINALLY! People agree with me!!! *happy dances* I really loved the way you guys took to my take on his transformation to sharky just like that *snaps fingers* He really needs more fangirls…**

**SnowsShadow: ^^" Yeah…I named his demon Toto because from what I understand Toto means something along the lines of fish… fish person, fish demon in my eyes. I thought that some Ino fans might get mad so it was just a slap. . I really do hate her though. YAY! I loved writing that part too~**

**Killerwing x Gaara: The shark jokes just kinda started getting to me after a while…they seem to be getting meaner and I love Kisa so…yeah. XD**

**Bloodyscribble: *squee's and glomps* I was starting to wonder where you ran off to! I love your insanely long reviews! :3 School sucks, I know exactly where you're coming from! Aww, I hate it when my internet does that. :P The western was just random. I'm glad you like the fight, it turned out pretty well! YAY RANDOM!**

**ShamanicNinja: Ha-ha you're so modest! *happy sob* I'm glad you guys like it! I write for me but if you guys like it that really makes me happy!!! Yeah, she got owned by Kisame. I hate it when I loose my train of thought…sometimes I think my station is out of order. *tee-hee* He really is sexy, isn't he?**

**Likes to Smile: YAY! That means I'm doin' a good job~ Toto means fish in Japanese, so I've heard. I kinda hate Ino so that punch made me laugh ^^"**

**KiraUzumaki: XD Thanks. That was hard to write so I'm glad that I got Kyuubi right! theoretical indecisive-ness: I loves me some fluff! Thanks, I will~**

**Thanks to SachikoSakura for the favorite story and AUTHOR! *dies***

My head is reeling as I skid back a few feet. There are skid marks in front of me and I grit my teeth. Deidara's arrogant smirk really makes me want to slap him.

"If you thought that was good then my new art will blow you away, yeah," He says slipping his hand into his clay pouch.

New training exercise my a$$.

"Stupid sadistic b*tch," I hiss under my breath. Meaning my leader, of course. Arashi had paired me up with Deidara for training, knowing taijutsu was an extreme weakness for me. It was his idea to take it a little farther away because his art caused so much damage to the surrounding area.

"Arashi-sama just wants you to get better, un" He sings and I grumble more swears under my breath. One more bomb hits me and I skid back again. "Still sounds weird saying that, yeah," He adds. I nod and double over, putting my hands on my knees.

"Sh-she's a good leader though," I pant wiping the sweat off of my forehead with my left sleeve. He grunts and throws a canteen of water at me. I catch it and screw off the cap before sucking down a few gulps.

"Careful, un," He says pushing me back onto my rear. "Gonna throw up if you drink too fast," I pull the container away from my lips and smile sheepishly.

"Thanks,"

"You should know that, being a medic and all, yeah" He teases and I pout.

"You know I'm not a good medic yet. I'm barely a decent ninja,"

"Yet you're in the Akatsuki, un," I can tell from the look on his face he's trying to hold back a smile. I huff and turn my head to the side, crossing my arms. "Hope you're happy, yeah. You made me use up most of my clay."

"You shouldn't have been throwing so much at me," He shoves me gently, his hand licking my arm to make me squeal.

"Dei!" I rub my arm and make a face. "Gross~"

"Says the girl that eats pocky and ramen at the same time, un," His hand grins at me as I open my mouth to retort. "Talk to the hand, yeah," It grins and wiggles its tongue at me. He holds it near my face and I push his arm away.

"You need to brush your teeth more. Your hand's breath smell like clay." Oh yeah, just a normal conversation. We both glare playfully at each other for a few seconds before I pull a kunai out of my pocket. "Feel that?"

"Yeah, un," He says with a few choice swears. "We're screwed. How much chakra do you have left, yeah?" He glances at me as he adjusts his scope.

"Not too much, but I should be able to put up a decent genjutsu to let us escape," I mumble. "How many?"

"Four,"

"F*ck,"

"Yeah, un," He takes the kunai out of my hand and attaches it to the wire he has. He jumps back and sets a quick trap before jumping back next to me. "This isn't good," I nod and activate a genjutsu to make it misty, helping hide the trap. We both glance around before jumping back into the trees.

"Looks like they're genin," I breathe when the trigger the trap, adding my own attacks to it. A few 'flaming' kunai and one good medical based attack is all I have the chakra for.

"Kumori-chan, yeah!!" I look back when Deidara yells. A cold hand grips my head and the world swims into darkness, pain pulsing in my temples. "KUMORI!"

…line…line…line…line…

It's dark when the world decides it wants to have Kumori back in it. My temples are still pulsing and I feel mentally and physically drained. I put a hand to my forehead and try to make the pain go away. Nothing happens.

"What the hell?" I mumble and open my eyes. A fire is crackling cheerfully in front of me and Deidara's fallen asleep against a tree across from me. I can't feel his chakra signature. I push myself to my hands and knees and crawl over to him. He mumbles something in his sleep and rolls over. I smile a little and reach behind him to take off his hitai-ate. It loosens a little so it slips over his eye and scope. He snorts but doesn't wake up.

_Some ninja you are_ I think with a good-natured eye roll. I put my hand on his forehead and frown. He has almost no chakra, not even enough to be sensed, and he feels warm. I silently curse my weakness, wishing I had enough chakra to bring that down to normal and see what's wrong. All of a sudden I'm on my back with my arms pinned above my head. Deidara's straddling my hips and leaning over me, breathing hard. His hitai-ate is covering up his good eye. His bangs brush my forehead and I blink once, twice.

"Dei?" He doesn't seem exactly with it. "Dei, what's wrong?" I squirm a little and push my glasses up with my shoulder. I blink again, straining my eyes to see his in the fading firelight. He pulls one hand away, keeping both my wrists pinned with one hand. His grip is stronger than I would have expected and his hand is licking my wrists gently. "Dei," His free hand traces my lips, then my eyes. I pull one hand free and push the bangs out of his eyes and then his hitai-ate. I see something I never thought I'd see in my favorite pyro's eye.

Fear. Pure, unbridled fear.

"Dei," He doesn't blink. His eye searches mine and I can feel his heart pounding against my wrist.

"Deidara," I say again. I pull my other wrist free and gently push myself out from under him. "Deidara, what's going on?" His hand is on mine as my gaze meets his again. He looks like a little boy that's lost his mother. "Deidara, you're scaring me, what's wrong?" I reach up and gently touch his cheek.

"They killed you," He says taking in a shaky breath. "They killed you, yeah, and it was my fault." I know better than to say anything. He needs to talk about this and it won't help me saying anything, yet. "They took you from me and Kisame, un. One minute you were in my arms, then you were in his. And you were happy. But you were happy with me too," He looks down and takes a huge breath. I know he's having a hard time so I take my hand from his cheek and place it on his hand, squeezing it gently. "They made you cry. A lot. And Kisame hated that, yeah. He was really mad but he couldn't get to you. They had clones of you all over the place. He tried to hug one but it disappeared, laughing, un. I thought I knew which you was the real one so I took your hand. And you turned into a monster. You were you but you weren't. You knew which you was the real one. And the monster you killed you. Because I touched you. You were screaming and crying and Kisame tried to run to you but the monster you ran at him. You were dying. Dying because of me, yeah," He squeezes my hand so hard it hurts but I don't say anything. He sits down, pulling me with him. I kneel in his lap and hug him tightly. His head is in my shoulder as I run my fingers through his hair.

"It was just a dream, Dei, I'm okay,"

"I know, un," He says in a small voice, muffled by my shoulder. "It felt real though," My hand rests on the back of his neck and I tighten my arms around him slightly.

"It's okay," I mumble closing my eyes. "We're both okay," He nods again and we both stay quiet, falling asleep together.

…line…line…line…line…

Sunlight streams through the trees and Deidara grumbles something under his breath that sounds like pure gibberish. He feels so warm and comfortable he doesn't want to move. His eye opens wide when he realizes _why_ he's so content. He looks down to see me curled up against his chest. A single bead of sweat drips down from his temple. Not good.

_Sure I like Kumori-chan, yeah but if Kisame comes looking for us and finds us like this his going to kill someone and I can guarantee it won't be her!_ The fish-man-thing is notoriously protective of the women he falls for. Deidara has only seen it once before and she didn't feel the same. He'd killed for the girl. He'd killed to protect her and almost gotten killed in return but she didn't care. _Kumori-chan's different, she'd never do that to him._ I yawn and blink owlishly behind my glasses as I get off of him quickly.

"S-Sorry Deidara," I mumble blushing hard and looking away. "Are you feeling better," He grunts and gets up before offering me his hand. I take and he pulls me to my feet like a perfect gentleman.

"Do you have any chakra yet, un?" I shake my head. "Same here,"

"We might as well get heading back," I mumble brushing myself off. He nods and we start walking. I stay quiet, trying to shake off the thoughts of what happened last night…

_Deidara's like a brother to me but still… that wasn't just brotherly…_


	16. Thicker than Water

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 16 Thicker than Water

**Omg, sorry I was gone so long guy**s. **I got in a little trouble with my parents and my grades and stuff… on the upside I got tons and tons of writing done for your enjoyment~ I know you guys are happy XD Well now I'm back and I don't plan on leaving any time soon.**

**Killerwing x Gaara: Sorry about that… it's a little blank, isn't it? I'm probably going to end up rewriting that so it'll be better then. Anywho the ninja just wanted their chakra for some testing~ That'll come in later**

**SnowsShadow: Really? *eye sparkle* That's the first time I've ever gotten someone telling me they were SPEACHLESS from my pathetic attempt at tying some words together and trying to make a story… Ooo, I didn't think of it being a jutsu…**

**tomato sauce: I've gotten a lot of grief over that so I might go back and rewrite that. And yes lots of drama llamas!!**

**Likes to Smile: Whoops~ Not sure who I want her to end up with either. XD It's Kumori-baka, who knows what could happen. **

**ShamanicNinja: Very much so! I love your modesty! XD He sure is~ OMFG I love Ouran! XD Tamaki is one of my favorites~ He's so cute! I kinda stole the twins and made them into characters for Others… X3**

**Bloodyscribble: O_O" How the hell did she manage to do that?! I love the idea of a protective Kisame personally, he seems like the type. I love your long reviews and they are anything but retarded!**

**Total Weirdo: O3O Can I come with? I love the wizard! He's a little odd but oh well~ The dream is meant to be confusing, especially since it was a dream that Dei-chan had~ I'm glad you like it!!**

**theoretical decisive-ness: Yay for psychos and for fluff! *dances* I live for both. It's fine~ You review amazingly so I don't really mind~ Ha-ha I got the cannon! Wanna give it a try? And yes she is! She has a huge roll coming up in just a few chapters~**

**Thanks to Total Weirdo for the favorite and alert and to Siyui no Akatsuki for the alert and favorite AUTHOR! Omg!**

**Anywho…I got my confetti cannon! Anyone who wants to have a go and shoot it can! :D**

**By the way, I'm taking a poll. Kumori/Kisame or Kumori/Deidara? If there's another pairing you'd like to see I'll take that into consideration too!**

"It's really quiet," I frown as the hideout comes into view. "Did everyone die while we were gone?"

"Probably yeah," Deidara grins. I grin back and close my eyes. I open them again and slam straight into a tree.

"I'm okay!" I hear my companion sigh quietly and look to see him shaking his head.

"You okay, Kumori-chan?" He sounds a little concerned.

"I'm fine," I mumble blushing. He chuckles and I shoot a glare at him before we fall silent. "Is everyone alive?" I call into the hideout once we arrive.

"No, we're all zombies," Arashi says leaning against the wall in front of us. "Didn't even feel your chakra; what happened?"

"We were attacked after training," I look down, embarrassed. "Just a stupid mistake," She nods slowly, looking from me to Deidara.

"What happened in here yeah?" The artist asks looking around curiously. "It looks like Tobi ran on a rampage on a sugar high again," My leader pinches the bridge of her nose.

"The dragon girl got loose," She sounds tired.

"Tori got out of her cell? How?! Those bars are made out of chakra enforced steal!" I gape.

"You forget how strong she is," A voice in my ear says. I grin and spin around.

"Kisa-kun!" I squeal hugging him.

"I was starting to wonder what happened to you," He says huskily and pulls me into a sweet kiss. It isn't long before the kiss deepens. I faintly hear Deidara say something about tea but Kisame's teeth gently nibbling my lower lip makes me moan quietly. He chuckles and my mind goes blank with love for him. He pulls away and I whine a little.

"I've got to go," He mutters running a hand through my hair. "Mission"

"Oh," is my oh-so-intelligent response.

"Sorry" He says and we kiss one last time, this one leaving me with a cut on my tongue.

"Kiss it better," I joke sticking my bleeding tongue out. He does kiss it, making me giggle. "Be careful,"

"I always am," I roll my eyes and go into the bathroom. Pressing a wet rag to my tongue, I sigh a little.

"What happened, un?" I withdraw onto my back foot, making Deidara chuckle.

"Cut my tongue," I mumble.

"How?" I turn red and look down. I glance up quickly to see the look on his face and I swear I see his hand, which has been so lazily hanging over a door hinge, tighten into a fist briefly. I reach up and run my finger over his hand. It's not a fist anymore but I can tell it was. He flinches under the touch, obviously not thinking I saw him.

"Dei?" I ask softly. His ocean blue eye meets mine and I hold his gaze. I put my hand by my side and he catches it. His fingers twine with mine and his tongue darts out, testing my palm. I try to tug my hand away but his grip is stronger than mine. He reaches up slowly and brushes my bangs away from my eyes, tracing a pattern on my forehead with a cool finger. I look away and his fist is under my chin gently. I pull away again, not as strong this time. He looks at me seriously. I blink and his lips are on mine. I kiss back out of instinct but pull away almost instantly. "I-I'm sorry," I say lamely before I run down the hall, leaving him confused.

I run into the kitchen and skid to a stop before I can hit the counter but that doesn't keep me from falling. Pin wheeling my arms doesn't keep me upright as much as I had hoped and I start falling back onto my rear. Two strong arms catch me, thankfully. I tilt my head back to see Hidan.

"Make me breakfast b*tch." He lets go of me and glares. "Where the f*ck were you?! We had to live off of the sh*t that Tobi called food while you were gone,"

"Out, sorry," I shrug and start making bacon, eggs, and hash browns.

"Looks good," A voice says behind me as Hidan skulks out of the room.

"Sorry Sasori-san," I say and he smiles without feeling. A cold breeze hits me as he phases through me.

"We hall had to fend for ourselves when I was alive" He says sounding slightly resentful.

"Under new management," I remind him and he smiles, almost bitterly.

"I've noticed, believe it or not," I reach out to shove him like I would anyone else but my hand passes right through him. I narrow my eyes and settle for flapping my hand in his mist. His mist easily rearranges itself after I'm done. "Happy?"

"Meh," He chuckles and ruffles my hair. I grin and flap my hand as I start dishing out food.

"KUMORI-CHAN!" I'm engulfed in a huge hug. Tobi nuzzles his mask in my neck and I windmill my arms again. This time no one is there to catch me. "Tobi missed Kumori-chan~" I giggle weakly and touch the back of my head, feeling a knot forming on the back of my head.

"Must you always hug me so violently?" I ask and he stands up, never letting go of me. My feet don't touch the ground.

_I hate being short_

"Yeh," He says stetting me down gently. "'Cause Tobi is a good boy," I smile and hug him back.

"Tobi is always a good boy," I agree and I'm sure that he's grinning.

"Arashi-sama wanted to see Kumori-chan," He says and I'm sure if he wasn't wearing a mask, the smile would be growing.

"Thanks," I say setting the last dish on the table. It cracks. That's probably not a good sign…

…line…line…line…line…

"We found out that the Sakura Festival in Konoha is inviting many other villages to help cement the new alliances. It will be a black tie event and we think it'll be the perfect time to invade," I grin at my leader and partner.

"So you want me to go in and start kicking a$$?" I grin evilly this time.

"No," My face falls. "I want you to go to the party thing and keep an eye on it. Make sure there aren't too many shinobi on guard. You and your date will be there to help keep things under control until we get there," My eye twitches.

"What about Tori?"

"Zetsu will stay behind to take care of her,"

"So you want me to go and watch people get drunk while you guys get ready for an invasion?"

"No, of course not!" She scoffs. "Deidara, your date, will be there with you!"

"Can it be Kisame?" I ask hopefully.

"No, he stands out too much," She grins a little. "You'd better go tell him what's going on and go. The festival is in three days. You both need clothes and there's travel time to be included." I nod and bow. I swear there's a glint in her eye… an evil glint.


	17. Arms

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 17

**Hello my amazing readers~ You guys are the reason I get up in the morning! I think it might be PMS but I'm in a great mood, even though the weekend's over. *sigh* They always go so fast… I hate having to get up and go to school too…It's such a drag. (Not to sound like Shikamaru or anything XD) I love you guys for sticking with me. I promise that this chapter will be very fluffy and cute~ Anyway… I LOVE YOU GUYS! I'm up to chapter 17 and just getting steam. This is far from over!**

**theoretical indecisive-ness: *sparkle-sparkle* You like my fluff~? I'm so happy! *hands confetti cannon* And yes! It's going to be a lot about her soon! Don't worry, just making people miss her. Thanks I will!**

**Killerwing x Gaara: Maybe a little…**

**tomato sauce: Hee-hee-hee Arashi's evil like that.**

**SnowsShadow: But she's so good at it! XD *eyes shimmer from tears* Yay.  
Sasori:…? What do you wish of me?**

**KiraUzumaki: Things are going to go…badly, of course! XD There is no poll on my homepage or anything. It's just you guys telling me via review or PM. I'm really lazy~**

**Poll for parings! **

**Kisa/Kumori: 1**

**Any other pairings: 0!**

I wriggle my toes as I avoid people's gaze. My hair is dyed blond and I'm wearing contacts to make my eyes blue. Deidara's hair is black and his eyes are green. It's like we switched bodies. Arashi refused to let us use Genjutsu because those can be seen through. His hand touches mine every once in a while and I feel people's eyes on us. I guess we were a cute couple…

"Kaori-chan," I shake the fuzzies from my brain and look up.

"What is it, Daisuke-kun?" The name tastes weird and I fight back the urge to say Deidara. He turns and smiles at me, tilting his head to the side.

"Let's find a place to rest. You look tired," I nod, blushing a little.

"Thank you, Daisuke-kun," He tugs me closer gently, resting his hand on mine

Our façades are a newly wed couple, Daisuke and Kaori Shigure, two non-shinobi from Kiri. Very much in love is hard to act out, especially when it's me and Deidara. I love him, don't get me wrong, but it's a little weird…

"We'd like to get a room," He says, his arm still wrapped around me. The woman at the front desk looks from me to him and then back a few times before realization hits her and she grins.

"Alright," She's an elderly woman and winks at us. "You guys on your honeymoon?" I smile a little.

"Yeah, actually," I cut in before Deidara can say anything. I put my left hand on the counter, showing off the fake engagement and wedding rings. She fusses over them for a little bit before my partner clears his throat.

"We should get upstairs," He says coughing uncomfortably. "It's getting late,"

"Now you two don't go and get too frisky all at once, you hear?" The woman calls after us. As soon as we're in the room I collapse into helpless giggles.

"We're getting frisky up here, Deidara" I giggle and he works hard not to smile. "Really frisky!"

"Shh," He says chuckling a little as well. "Are you drunk again, yeah?"

"No," I say giggling still. "I just have the giggles,"

"You're such a good villain, un" He rolls his eyes and I lay back on our bed.

"Any idea what we're going to wear tomorrow?"

"No, yeah," He says shaking his head. "Figure we can find stuff tomorrow, un"

"Oh fun," I sigh. "Pre-chaos to be added to the chaos,"

"Gonna go shower, yeah," He says stepping into the bathroom. I nod and call up some room service.

_Ooo, Deidara's in the showa~_ My inner coos. _He's gettin' naked!_

…_So?_ I ask cluelessly. She huffs.

_So now could be your chance!_

_Chance for what?_

_LOVIN'!_

_What the f*ck?! I'm in love with Kisame! Kisame, Kisame, Kisame, Kisame, Kisame, Hoshigaki Kisame!_

_You're in denial baby_ She pats me on the back. _It's okay. I'm here to help you get through this hard, hard time._

_I'm going to find a way to kill you some day without killing myself._

_Ha-ha that's impossible! I control part of you!_

…

…

_CATFIGHT!_

ME-OW! I end up beating myself up. If you have a catfight with yourself, there are no winners.

"Room service!" The perky maid says knocking on the door. I smile and open the door for her. She comes in and cheerily hands me a bottle of really expensive sake.

"I-I didn't order this," I pale just thinking about how much that would cost. Kakuzu's gonna freak!

"I know that silly! It's from Kirasu down stairs! She wants it to help you start off a good night together!" I blush hard and bow, thanking her. She winks. "We'll make sure that nobody disturbs you two love birds!" She puts the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the outside of the door.

"I really need this," I mumble pouring myself a glass of sake, drinking it quickly. "Mmm,"

"What's mmm, yeah?" Deidara asks coming out, only having a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey sake!" He takes the bottle cheerfully and I swear I see hearts and rainbows coming off of him.

_Oh my gawd take a look at those ABS!_ My inner squeals as a nosebleed starts. I do look at them and besides the huge stitch near his heart his abs are super hot. I mean, wow! Totally drool worthy.

_But I still haven't seen Kisame shirtless… I bet he has nice arms… He DOES have to carry Samehada around all the time… Mmm, arms._ A grinning hand is waved in front of my eyes and I flinch.

"I'm sorry what was that?" I ask sheepishly. He chuckles and holds out the bottle.

"I asked, do you want s'more sake but I think you've had enough already, yeah" He grins and I shove him.

"Gimme, I need more,"

"Angry little girl aren't you, un?" He teases.

"Angry little girl's gonna kick you're a$$,"

…line…line…line…line…

I know you guys are probably drooling over your computer screens hoping that the two of us got drunk but we didn't. I only drank a little and Deidara can really hold his alcohol. About half of the bottle disappeared and we decided to save the rest of it for later.

I yawn a little as I glance at the clock. It's almost eleven. And it's started to rain. Wow, how cliché.

...line…line…line…line…

It was a dark and stormy night…

…line…line…line…line…

"I hate rain, yeah," Deidara pouts as I get up to close the windows. "Looks like it's gonna be a bad storm too," He glances at me and I instantly regret the deer-in-the-headlights look I'm wearing. "What's wrong with you, un?"

"Nothing," I squeak running into the bathroom and pulling on the over-sized shirt that I stole from Kisame. I put a sleeve to my nose and breath in his scent. It smells like sea water and the cologne he wore sometimes. I close my eyes and try not to think about Deidara shirtless again. He's really, really hot but I'm with Kisame. I love him and he loves me.

I hope.

No, no he does!

I come back out and throw my clothes into the corner before climbing in bed. Deidara shuffles around a bit as I close my eyes. A few minutes later the bed curves under added weight and he grumbles

"Scoot over, yeah," I squeak in surprise as I'm less-than-gently shoved to the other side of the bed. He slides under the covers and rolls over to face me. "Figured out why you were so scared earlier, un" His eyes glint in the light and I feel myself paling again.

"What do you mean?"

"You're afraid of thunderstorms, yeah," He says squeezing my hand gently. I sigh and hang my head as best as I can. It's not as easy as it sounds, especially when you're laying on your side.

"It's a stupid fear," I mumble and Deidara ruffles my hair gently.

"I'll protect you, un," He murmurs pulling me closer.


	18. Sakura Festival Stupidity Part One

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 18 Sakura Festival Stupidity Part One

**Alright! This is the super-long chapter you guys have been waiting for! This is the chapter that has the SAKURA FESTIVAL! I'm hoping that this will be about three thousand words while my usual is around a thousand. Who knows though, I always write the Author's Note before I start the chapter. That gets me pumped! *pumped* XD Hopefully I won't screw it up too much! There are only a few more chapters of Stupidity left!**

**tomato sauce: XD My friends and I did that once! We felt really bad the rest of the day… But it was free cake! Kumori and Deidara DID get free expensive sake…**

**SnowsShadow: XD YES! Probably. Kisa/Kumo is a ton of fun to write and you guys are eating it up. **

**Deidara: *runs away sobbing* Meanie! **

**Angel: *scoff* Wimp.**

**Sasori: *slight blush* Thank you, SnowsShadow-chan. I would be honored to teach you… *Angel pops up***

**Angel: He can be yours for only- *gets knocked out by Kakuzu***

**Kakuzu: Talk to me later. I'll give you the good rates… *drags Angel away***

**Bloodyscribble: It's fine hon! I understand that stuff like that happens… I'm glad you like the fluff! That's another vote for Kisa/Kumo! *bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!* I love Dei/Kumo too but Kisa/Kumo is what I had in mind the entire time… A confetti cannon is just like a normal cannon only it shoots confetti! You'll have to buy one from close to Austria, though. Oh… Kinda like an inner? Don't hurt me. OwO Poor Hidan~**

**Likes to Smile: Ha-ha you're right! He kinda likes Arashi playing matchmaker… I know who she's going to end up with but it's going to take a long time (quite a few of the remaining chapters) for her to realize her true feelings. You'll find out soon!**

**KiraUzumaki: LAZY PEOPLE OF THE WORLD…CONTINUE BEING LAZY! XD No, I don't mind if you vote for both.**

**Okay~ That's… four votes for Kisa/Kumo and one vote for Dei/Kumo! *dances* Continue voting please!**

_Crash! Boom!_

I close my eyes tightly and cuddle closer to Deidara. I feel weak and like an idiot doing so but it's a thunderstorm. His arms go around me and his finger traces a random pattern on my shoulder. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and wish it all away as his hair falls over my face. It smells kinda nice… Another rumble of thunder washes over us and I squeak. He hugs me a little closer, so my head is on his chest. His heart is a slow, steady beat that helps soothe me a little.

It isn't long before I'm asleep, curled against him.

…line…line…line…line…

"Wake up, yeah," A voice rumbles in my ear and I jump. Chuckling follows and I mentally whine when the warmth I had been holding onto leaves me cold. "I got you breakfast,"

"Really?" I sit up slowly, reach for my glasses, and see food on the end of the bed. "That's really sweet, Dei,"

"It's nothing," He blushes a little. "I just got you breakfast,"

"Still, it's sweet" I peck his cheek gently. "Thanks," The blush deepens.

"You're welcome, yeah," He mumbles looking away. I grin and dig in quickly before going to get dressed. Deidara and I are going to scope out the best spots for attacking. Fun in Keimei… Whee.

…line…line…line…line…

I sigh softly once we get back to the hotel.

"That was mind-numbing, un" Deidara says dully as he itches the back of his neck. I nod and rub my elbow lamely.

"We found out a lot," I try and he grunts, waving me off.

"I'm gonna go shower, yeah" He pulls off his shirt, throwing it carelessly into a corner. "Don't die," He adds jokingly. I roll my eyes and look around the room.

"Kisu?" I call softly. A towel moves and I withdraw anime-style, squealing. I nudge it and my toe is suddenly bleeding. "Kisu you annoying little ba-" He flies at my head and I swat him away. He lands on my shoulder and pecks the back of my neck less than gently. A small smile finds its way to my lips and there's a knock on the door. "Coming!" I call and stumble through the mess that is our hotel room. I reach for it but it's already opening. Every alarm is going off in my head but I know better than to pull out a kunai or start a jutsu. Two huge hands go to the small of my back. Lips are on the space behind my ear and my feet aren't touching the floor anymore. A flash of panic pulses through me. I open my eyes (when did I close them?!) and blue meets my gaze, making me calm down for a split second before my pulse spikes again, making him pull away.

"What are you doing here?" I ask when I can find my voice again. He puts his hands on either side of my face so his thumbs are on my cheekbones.

"Invasion tonight, remember?" He's smiling. "And I needed to make sure you were okay,"

"I'm fine baby. This is really dangerous." I say as his hands slide down to mine.

"I know," His smile is pointy and creepy but I love it. "But isn't that what makes it all the more appealing?"

"Yes"

…line…line…line…line…

_Deidara's Point of View_

"I know, but isn't that what makes it all the more appealing?" His voice is a low, husky growl.

"Yes," Her voice is light and breathy. My fist clenches hard enough to make my mouth's tongue push against my fingers, trying to get it away.

She's in love with him, and he's in love with her. Perfect couple. And here comes me. The third wheel infatuated with a girl that's already been claimed.

I open the door a crack to look out and see the two of them acting like it's been years since they've seen each other, not just a few days. I shut the door quickly and put my head against the cool wood. I close my eyes and slide down to my knees, then into a sitting position. Not exactly the way I envisioned my love life when I was younger… I sigh and try to block out what they're doing. They're in love! How can anyone blame them?

_But she should be in love with you_ The little voice inside my head says gently. _You really love her._

_So does Kisame_ I think knowing that my mental tone sounds dry. _She's happy with him un._

_She obviously hasn't been with you._

_Shut up, yeah_ I think lacing my fingers into my hair and tugging. _Just shut up_ He does but my thoughts keep whirring. What if my inner voice was right…? No, no. Stupid.

I shake the thought out of my head and get dressed, trying not to make a stupid mistake.

…line…line…line…line…

_Kumori's Point of View_

"K-Kisa," I say breathlessly "Please, I don't want… I want to wait," He nips my ear gently.

"Okay babe," He smiles warmly. "I get it. Wait until we're married," He kisses my hands gently. I nod and play with the hem of his shirt, a white wife beater. It hugs his muscles amazingly and I feel myself almost drooling. I, on the other hand, have nothing drool worthy. I shiver a little and he wraps a blanket and his arms around me.

"I should start getting ready for the festival," I say leaning into him.

"I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you going to a VIP couples only thing with Deidara," He says jokingly.

"You know I wouldn't cheat on you," I say starting to get up. He pulls me into his lap and kisses my shoulder.

"I know, I just don't trust him," He says letting me get up and get dressed. We lapse into a comfortable silence as I get ready.

"OhmyGod!" I whip around and turn bright red. "What?!" He jumps up and puts his hand on the hilt of Samehada.

"Deidara has been in the bathroom since before you got here. He's either dead or been listening the entire time." I say turning redder. He laughs a little.

"Wow, that's awkward" He rubs the back of his neck. "Okay Deidara, come on out. Show's over," He comes out with a slightly sheepish expression.

"I wasn't listening, un. I swear. I was just getting ready, yeah" He's dressed in a deep blue kimono with white puffs embroidered in it that look like explosions. I turn my back and look into the mirror, playing with my light blue kimono. It's simple and was pretty cheap so Kakuzu won't get too mad if I rip it during the battle. When I turn back around, the two men are staring each other down.

"U-Um we'd better go…" I say pulling my hair back into a tiny messy bun thing. "The thing has already started…"

"We really should, yeah," Deidara slips his arm around my waist and smiles tightly. "Lots to do,"

"You'd better take good care of her," I'm jerked away from Deidara and into a kiss. "Be careful, okay?" I nod and kiss him back.

"You too."

"I love you"

"I love you too," He grins and lets go of me. The atmosphere darkens around us as the two men start another stare down.

"Let's go," Deidara says after what seems like a lifetime. "We're going to be late, un," I nod and follow him out, hearing my boyfriend lock the door after us.

"You okay?" I ask slipping my hand into his as we walk out of the hotel. He nods and looks at me, smiling.

"I'm fine, un. Don't worry. Let's just have fun tonight, yeah," He says. I know he's lying but I turn a blind eye. My eyes go huge when I see exactly how huge this thing is. There has to be at least a thousand people here, just waiting to get inside. Everyone is dressed up, way nicer than me. Tons of people are wearing masks.

"Wow," I breathe and my date chuckles next to me.

"Wow is right, yeah," He murmurs in my ear. "This is going to be a real bang,"

"May I see your invitation?" A huge security guard says and Deidara whips the card out, holding it between his middle and index fingers. He nods and opens the door. "Enjoy your time tonight," He says as Deidara slips his arm around me again. It's dimly lit inside the room with a ton of people ballroom dancing. It's beautiful. The warehouse has been transformed from a dirty, dank, disgusting place to something out of a fairy tale. Christmas lights are everywhere and curtains are keeping it dark.

"There's something I want to show you, yeah," Deidara says waking me from my amazement. I nod dumbly and let him lead me away. "I found this place earlier, yeah," I can just barely hear the music the band is playing.

"It's beautiful," I say turning to him. He grins his infamous grin.

"May I have this dance, un?" He asks in a fake British accent. I smother a giggle and nod.

"But of course, sir," I say trying to sound British. It turns out Scottish. He snort-laughs and takes my hand, putting the other on the small of my back. He twirls me in a slow circle before bringing me back close. "I didn't know you could dance,"

"Neither did I, un" He jokes as we sway while turning. "I-I took lessons as a child," A light blush stains his cheeks.

"That's really sweet," I say grinning. His blushes deeper and looks away. The artist's mouth opens to say more but the voice that comes out isn't his.

"May I cut in?" I gasp and turn to see Sasori. His hand is held out to me. My date sighs.

"You always ruin my fun, danna," He says stepping away. Sasori smirks and reaches out to me. His hand doesn't pass through mine. It rests on mine warmly. Like I'd always expected it to be. I gape, opening and closing my mouth a few times like a fish out of water. He chuckles.

"I took over the girl's body," His smile is slightly creepy now. "I figured out how it was done. She had no chance." I gulp hard as we keep dancing.

"I-Is she still alive?" He chuckles, but nods.

"Feisty little thing. Her spirit has been able to break free and control her… my body again once or twice." He smiles. "In a word, yes," I feel the breath I didn't know I'd been holding whoosh out of my body. He looks slightly confused but doesn't say anything.

"I'll be right back, yeah," Deidara smirks and ducks out of the room as we stop dancing. It's awkward for a few seconds but he smoothly breaks it.

"He's going to set up the bombs," The words drive a cold stake into my stomach, making me want to throw up. Thankfully, I push it down and nod.

"A lot of people are going to die tonight, right?" My voice sounds like I've been wandering in the desert for twenty years. He shrugs with his eyebrow.

"We're going to keep casualties to a minimum. We don't want snot-nosed brats or elderly people in walkers coming after us. That would be a real pain for Keimei. We're just trying to prove that we're a threat." We both chuckle. His is dry and mine is awkward. We're such a good pair. We stand for a few minutes before I slide down against the wall. He sits next to me, coming to my level a lot more elegantly than I had.

"He sure is taking his time," My piano teacher says sounding slightly annoyed. "He knows I hate waiting,"

"Maybe that's why he's taking so long," I offer, trying to make a joke. His glare makes me want to run screaming. I don't. I may be a wimp but I can kind of hold my own against a glaring ninja.

"Sorry, un." Deidara drawls stepping back into the cozy little room. "I almost got caught by the gorilla outside, yeah,"

"You're too sloppy," Sasori growls pulling himself to his feet. I get up as well and the artist puts his hands into that infamous seal.

"Real art isn't perfect. Real art… is a real bang! Katsu!" Explosions sound all around us and the screams start. I flinch and tie my kimono up in the back so I can run if needed.

"Let the fun begin," I say under my breath. One of Deidara's birds fly up to the roof and explode as he and the small one he's made go out to the battle. I can already hear Hidan laughing sadistically.

Suddenly I can't breath. A hand is at my throat, holding me against the wall. I gasp and claw at the hand fruitlessly. My eyes water and I can just barely make out the figure as Tori. Oh snap. She's really angry too.

"How does it feel Kumori-_chan_?" She hisses uncharacteristically. Her wings unfurl and I choke, trying to get air. "You're at my mercy," She lets go surprisingly. She looks twice as shocked as I am. I'm on all fours and coughing hard as she tries to regain control of her body.

"Let go of me!" She yells clutching at her white hair. "Give me my body back!" I can't fight her. I can't risk killing Sasori. Something in my gut tells me he won't come back this time. But I can't let Tori rampage. I screw my eyes shut to think.

"Kumori," His voice is breathless and impatient. "Listen to me very closely. This is what I want you to do…"

…line…line…line…line…

_Kisame's Point of View_

I grin slightly to myself as I stare across the chaotic battle field. Nobody's dead yet, per Arashi's request. She's up against the Hokage right now. Pretty sure one of them (and it's not Arashi) is going to get badly hurt. My head is reeling from the adrenaline rush of the last battle. It was against that dog boy and his mutt. Didn't take too long; as soon as Samehada took a swipe at his dog, it was all over. Toto's growling in the back of my mind.

_So much blood._ He snarls _More blood_ He's itching to taste some.

_No_ I think pushing the urge to spill more down. He hisses ferally and paces.

_You don't know where your mate is_ He never called her by her name. It was always "your mate."

_No, I don't._ My eye twitches a little. _I think she can hold her own against these genin running around._

_Go find her._ He says in his old gravely tone. _Go. Now._ I'm about to protest but his senses take over mine partially. I inhale deeply and catch her scent on the wind. It's very refreshing against all of the blood and sweat. He lets go of me and I heed his word, starting toward her.

It doesn't take too long to find her in some little room in the party house. But what surprises me is that she's kneeling over Sasori. Her hands are fluttering over him like a nervous baby bird. Her hair has fallen over most of her face but I can just barely make out her mouth moving, very quickly.

Her pulse is rapid and I'm instantly alarmed. Toto growls hugely, puffing himself up like a puffer fish. Neither of us like the distress radiating off of my Kumori.

She yells suddenly. Not words; just emotion and green light surrounds the two. I step back a few paces, surprised at how much power she's pumping into this. The green light fades after a few seconds and I instantly look to see how Kumori is doing. Toto growls something I can't hear. She's fine, but she's run back a few steps, panting. Now there aren't just two people in the room besides me… there are three. Kumori, Sasori, and… that Tori-dragon-girl. Both Sasori and the newly come girl are panting harder than a pair of 'excited' frat boys.

"You okay?" Kumori asks skidding to a stop in front of the red head. He nods and steps forward. Her eyes get round when he says something barely loud enough for her to hear. She gulps hard and nods. Then all hell breaks loose. Dragon Girl goes berserk and straight for my girlfriend. I growl but push down the urge to kill. This is her battle, not mine. The two girls fight, but not for very long. After a few minutes, Tori goes for a hit bellow the belt. She powers up a fire jutsu and pulls out a kunai. The jutsu is aimed at Kumori, and, while Sasori is distracted, the kunai is aimed at his heart.

…line…line…line…line…

_Kumori's Point of View_

Things seem to move in slow motion. The fire jutsu burns my arms and parts of my face not shielded by said arms. It'll hurt later but I don't feel it too much now. The kunai disappears into my piano teacher's semi-human flesh. Tori pulls it out with a grim smile and she jumps away. He looks shocked. I scream and start running toward him as he pitches forward.

"Sasori!" I scream as tears pour down my face. I roll him onto his back and see the blood he coughs up.

"I thought… I wouldn't have to feel this… again," He says hoarsely.

"N-No, don't say things like that!" I say crying harder. "You're not going into die!"

"Save your tears. We both knew this was coming when you pulled us apart," His voice is getting quieter. "Keep playing, Kumori. I'll look up from hell and smile," His eyes slide shut before I can say anything else.

"Sasori!" I sob into his still-warm corpse, wrapping my arms around him. "Don't leave me!" Arms go around me, gently pulling me away.

"Mori-chan," Kisame says softly. "Baby, he's dead." I try to fight his grip but it's futile. He's right. I turn into his grip and bawl like someone died. Oh wait… someone did.


	19. Treaty

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 18 Game Over

**O_O" I'm soooo sorry I didn't update the last chapter sooner. As you might have guessed I got in trouble with the Nag (the woman who claims to have given birth to me) and my dad. They took away my laptop. THEN we went down south and the hotel we stayed at didn't have Wi-Fi. That bugged me to a very high degree. SO I finally whined enough to be taken to Starbucks so I could update. I like updating. Very much. *bows* I'm sorry and I will have the reviews from last chapter in this chapter! *ducks* Don't be too mad!**

**Anon: I really, actually, love the constructive criticism. I really feel that I'm not a very good author yet. I cherish each CC review, reading it a couple times in order to squeeze every ounce of help that that author has been kind enough to give me. I'm not being sarcastic at all! I really love CC reviews. They help me get better. Yeah…I had a feeling they were getting worse… I kinda had a feeling she was getting Sue-ish… XP Sorry… At least she isn't one of the more known Sues, right? You're not a geek, I hate that story but I love HP in general. I'm going to probably rewrite this or make another story like it so I can give Kumori a little more depth. ^^" I'm not too good at keeping the characters out of OOC. I'll try to make it better, though. *blushes hard* I'm actually really honored that you would take all that time in order to help me become better. This is one of the best reviews I've gotten. Thank you so much Anon! Please CC me again soon. :D**

**As you guys may have guessed… Stupidity is coming to an end. This is the second to last real chapter. I can't thank my reviewers enough, you guys have been so perfect and nice to me it makes me want to cry. Actually, I just did cry a little bit. A tear slipped out. You have been so supportive of me ever since the first chapter of Stupidity at its Best. I know that some of the chapters have gone down hill and been short and stuff. I'm not really a good writer yet, but I'm trying to get better. Your reviews and CCs have helped me so much! But don't be sad, I'm already starting to think up the next series I'll do so I need some review votes! *ahem* Here are the voting categories: **

**Pairing**

**AU or Not**

**Kumori or New OC**

**Short, sweet, and to the point. It'll just take a few minutes of your time. PLEASE VOTE!**[/b]

It's been two weeks since Sasori died. I'm still really upset but Arashi says that if I keep moping around she'll "kick your sorry a$$ to Konoha to hurry the hell up and get over yourself. Once you're done wallowing in self-pity we will rule the world. Evilly."

Needless to say I've kind of been taking this a little far… I haven't had anyone in my family die before. We didn't have pets when I was a kid either. Mom said that they were too much trouble.

"Hey! Look who's out of her room," Kisame says as I shuffle into the kitchen. My eyes are hugely puffy behind my glasses and I'm not wearing makeup. My hair is sticking out in every direction too.

"We were starting to think you died, yeah," Deidara says looking up from his Wheaties.

"F*ck she's out," Kakuzu says glaring at me. I turn from pouring myself a cup of tea and hiss at him. He blinks a few times, looking torn between killing me now and killing me when there are fewer witnesses. He seems to choose later, seeing as he glares and storms out of the room.

"He was betting seventeen days before you decided to come out," Zetsu says stirring a mug of I don't want to know what. I shiver a little when he takes a slip and a red drop of whatever was left on his upper lip. He smiles a little into the glass and licks his lip, getting the drop. "We all made bets. Kisame and Arashi won at two weeks," He adds regretfully. A sweatdrop runs down my cheek and I sniff, rubbing my index finger under my nose.

"It's my fault he died," A small sob bubbles up.

"**Start crying again and I'll eat you**" His black side hisses. I suddenly don't feel like crying anymore. Zetsu is such a caring person. I think I love him. "**Go to Kisame, he loves you**" Said boyfriend had disappeared to do whatever Kisames do.

"Oh, you're up… Thought you were dead." Arashi says when she walks in the room.

"I feel so loved," I say with a slight deadpan.

"That's just because you're my partner" She fake smiles and shuffles over to the table. I slide in across from her and sigh. She rolls her eyes and reaches over, ruffling my hair a little. "Suck it up shorty, we're about to get into a lot deeper sh!t. It's doubtful many of us are going to survive this part of our war."

"The hell kinda pep talk is that?!" I wail dramatically.

"My kind." She grins for real this time but it fades quickly. "What happened before Sasori died? Kisame says he saw part of it but he doesn't really know what went wrong."

I hold back a sigh. I knew this was coming. I shove down any emotions that had come up and put on a blank face.

"Sasori had been talking about how he took over Tori's body. He said that she'd managed to take her body back a few times. She took it back again while we were talking and tried to kill me, as expected. Sasori took it back and told me how to separate them. I did as he told me, but the two halves of him were weakened. She distracted me with a fire jutsu and killed Sasori with a kunai. I was weak and he died," I take a deep breath as my leader looks me over.

"I see," She rubs the newly-formed worry lines with her right hand and sighs. "So Tori is a weakness for you, isn't she?"

"Yeah,"

"Alright," The leader of Keimei says after a long pause. "I don't want you fighting in this final part of the war. You need to focus on healing so we don't loose any more people than we need to. Understood?"

"Understood," I say knowing I'm not going to be too much help on the field, even if I was allowed to fight.

"F*ck you _are_ alive," Hidan grumbles slipping his arm around Arashi's shoulders.

"Why is everyone saying that?!" I slump, my forehead hitting the table.

"KYAAAAAAA~ MORI-CHAN!" I'm knocked off my chair and into a hug. Tobi's kneeling between my legs hugging me happily. "Tobi missed Mori-chan," Hidan kisses the top of Arashi's head.

"That's mostly because we had to live off the sh*t you called food," He growls narrowing his eyes at the masked ninja. Tobi just seems to grin behind his mask and nuzzle his face into my neck.

"Tobi is a good cook," He insists cutely.

…line…line…line…line…

Later I find myself laying on the grass, watching the stars. They twinkle cheerily and I glare at them.

[i]_I bet you're watching the stars too Sasori-san_[/i] I think rolling onto my side and sighing. [i]_I miss you_[/i] A breeze blows gently through the night, making my hair fly around. I futilely try to straighten it out but then settle for pushing my glasses up. A chuckle resonates behind me and I jump.

Deidara crouches next to me and smiles a little.

"Some ninja you are, yeah" He teases and ruffles my hair. I flip him the bird and try to straighten it out. He sits down next to me, tilting his head back to look at the stars.

"Do you miss him, un?" He asks after a few minutes. I nod, knowing he's looking at me.

"Do you?" He shrugs a little.

"I guess, yeah. Just thought that he would stay ghostly and all… he never liked having a human body." He mumbles looking down at his hands. "Always said that he'd be immortal, just like his art un. Guess he wasn't all that he thought he was, yeah," A bitter chuckle follows.

"You really did like him, didn't you Dei?" I ask softly, turning to look at him.

"Guess I did," He says pulling his knees to his chest. "Guess I did… un"

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 19 Treaty

[b]**Yes, 'tis the last chapter of the Stupidity series before the epilogue. I've had a ton of fun writing all this. It's been a blast! Much like art. XD I like to think that I've grown better with your help. I know that Kumori's a bit of a Sue, and I apologize for that. *bows* Please forgive me! Thanks to everyone who's supported me in this long journey, including:**

**SnowsShadow**

**theoretical indecisive-ness**

**XShatteredxEyesX**

**AnonymoustheFirst**

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**jirachi49**

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**Siyui no Akatsuki**

**Anon**

**That's a TON of support! I'm literally sitting at my computer and bawling. You guys have been amazing and I can't thank you enough! There probably won't be an Author's Note next chapter so… yeah *gathers all people who have shown up in Stupidity* From all of us here at Stupidity at its Best and Isn't Stupidity Contagious?**

**All: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH (YEAH)!**

**Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!**

**SnowsShadow: I can't thank you enough for being here from the very beginning. You supported me even if I had a bad chapter and always made me smile. You hung onto Stupidity and rode it out. For that I am forever grateful. You even were nice enough to give me an OC of yours to screw up. For that, I am forever sorry. I love Arashi though, she is one of my favorite characters in this story. :D And yeah he died… again.**

**Sasori: None taken. *small smile* And thank you.**

**Angel: In this story, he's gone but I'll bring him back in my other stories! I love ghostly Sasori. O_O That's a lot of money but you have yourself a deal! I'd be willing for five-fifty. And Kakuzu (but don't tell him!) *sparkly eyes* Can I see?**

Deidara and I have been talking for a little while about Sasori and how Keimei would end up when a chakra signature not from the Akatsuki enters my field of sensing. Deidara feels it too. We both tense and I pull out a kunai. I glance over and see his hands chewing furiously.

"I am not here to fight," Tori says landing lightly in front of us. I can tell she's torn between giving us the scroll and ripping the two of us to shreds while she has the chance. "I'm just here on a mission from Konoha. Please give this to your leader," She adds the last sentence through gritted teeth. She holds out a dark blue scroll with both hands. I take it cautiously, looking it over for any signs of explosives or weapons. I see none and nod, letting her go.

"This is far from over!" She says before she turns back to Konoha, obviously on orders not to kill us or anger us or whatever she might want to do as revenge.

"Should we open it now un?" Deidara asks looking at it warily. I shake my head slowly.

"I'm guessing it has some kind of seal on it. It's probably rigged to only open to her chakra," I shrug trying not to show how freaked out I really am by acting bland. He doesn't really seem to fall for it but he doesn't say anything.

"Let's get this to her, yeah" He says softly and we turn back towards the hideout. We take our time, which might have been stupid but oh well. Too late for that now. Mental shrug.

_Knock-knock_

"What?" Hidan's annoyed glare is visible through a crack in Arashi's door.

"Is Arashi there…? It's kind of important…" He's shoved away with a loud swear. Her hair is slightly messed up and she looks flustered.

"What?" She sounds just as annoyed as Hidan did. Only scarier.

"Scroll for you," I squeak throwing it at her and running. She catches it and slams the door shut after her. Deidara's hair is blown away from his face from the force of the slam.

"Guess we interrupted… un" He shrugs turning around.

…line…line…line…line…

_Gurgle, gurgle, growl_

"Ugh~ Hungry~" I grumble and woozily walk towards the kitchen.

"Hey baby" Kisame says grinning. "I made dinner,"

"Oh that's so sweet of you," I say trying to hold back a wince. "You didn't have to,"

"It's takeout" He says deadpanning a little.

"Ooo, from where?"

"That one place, let's go eat," He shoves me towards the table a little too eagerly.

"You have good takeout ordering skills, very sexy," I tease as everyone filters in and starts eating.

"Not bad," Kakuzu says poking his chopsticks at the food. "Where's it from?"

"That one place," Kisame and I say at the same time.

"What was that scroll about, yeah?" Deidara asks through a mouthful of food.

"Oh that," Arashi says picking at the food on her plate. "Konoha really, really, really doesn't want to go to war with us, apparently."

"And they f*cking shouldn't!" Hidan crows pounding a fist on the table.

"I'm not done yet, stupid," She says pimp slapping him. "They sent a peace treaty," You could have said everyone was going to die in two seconds and you wouldn't have gotten a different look. I stop in mid-chew, my fork halfway to my mouth.

"Are you kidding?" I ask swallowing after a few seconds. "You have to be kidding, that's just idiotic!"

"I'm not," She says shaking her head. "And I think it's our best bet. The Hokage made it clear that if we don't accept the treaty they're going to declare war on us,"

"When the hell did you get so chicken a$$ed?!" Hidan frowns at the girl he'd claimed as his.

"You and I both know that we can't afford to lose anyone else," She growls punching him on the back of the head. "You all know that," She adds looking around as she puts another chopstickful of food into her mouth. "Anyone who disagrees can come outside and I can beat some sense into you,"

"We can afford to loose Tobi, un" Deidara says under his breath and all the guys but Tobi and the stoic Uchiha start laughing. Ninja hearing kicks it.

"You guys are so immature," She says rolling her eyes.

"Tobi doesn't get it," He says tilting his head to the side cutely.

"Don't bother trying to get it," I mumble ruffling his hair and taking the last bite of my dinner. It really wasn't as bad as I thought my boyfriend's 'cooking' would be. Kisame looks at me expectantly as I chew slowly. "What?" I ask taking a sip of tea.

"Nothing," He mumbles but his shoulders slump noticeably.

"No it's something," I frown. He'll tell me when he's ready, typical man behavior. Itachi coughs and I look over.

"Are you getting sick, Itachi-san?" I ask and he shakes his head, coughing again. "Holy crap are you choking?!" He shakes his head one more time. He coughs something into his hand and pulls away, frowning slightly at it. "Blood?" I squeak.

"You're annoying when you ask so many questions," He says and holds up a food and Itachi slobber covered ring. "Someone dropped their engagement ring," Kisame, who had been chugging some sake just seconds before, spews the drink across the table and starts coughing. Itachi's Sharingan'd eyes turn to his partner. He wipes the spit and stuff off before sliding it to him. "I believe this is yours," I squeak in surprise and turn bright red.

"Ooo, Kisame-san, who is Kisame-san engaged to?" Tobi asks clapping his hands together in front of his mask.

"Nobody yet," He says looking over at me, a deep blush staining his cheeks. I turn darker red as he pushes his chair out and comes over to me, getting down on one knee. "Kumori-chan, I love you more than anything. You know that. I know that. I'm crazy over you and I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't want you to be with anyone else either. Will you marry me?" I start crying hard and nod frantically.

"Yes, yeah, yes!" I throw myself at him and he chuckles, pulling me into a kiss.

"I love you baby," He says stroking my hair and chuckling.

"Love you too," I sob into his shoulder. "Love you so much,"

"Nice," Kakuzu snorts. "Now it's Hidan's turn,"

"WHAT?!" The couple shrieks both turning red.


	20. Epilogue

Stupidity Epilogue

Isn't Stupidity Contagious? (Sequel to Stupidity at its Best) Ch 20 Epilogue

I push up my glasses and rub my swollen stomach gently. Worry twists underneath my sweatshirt but I know better than to say anything about it. We're both worried. My leader and I, that is.

"We've had two years of peace, Tsunade-sama," Arashi says obviously trying not to snap and start swearing out what she really thinks. I feel like I'm floating away. "Please let this continue. We are willing if you are." Her voice sounds insanely out of character.

"We are also willing, Arashi-sama," She says slowly as Tori growls, tensing. "But we have drawn up a new peace treaty." The dragon girl hisses a little as she slides the paper across the desk. I rub my stomach again, wincing a little when my baby kicks me particularly hard. The Hokage shoots the girl she brought along a sharp look, which kind of shuts her up. She's still grumbling things under her breath, all of which are less than pleasant. My leader reads it over, nodding after what seems like a long time. I'm sure it's only a few minutes.

"Alright," She says bringing her left hand, which has an engagement ring with a huge rock on it, to pinch the bridge of her nose. "You have very steep askings but I feel that is reasonable. I will sign," She looks over at me and smiles a little when she sees me flinch. "Baby kicking?"

"Hard," I say rubbing my stomach gingerly. "But what do you expect from Kisame's kid?"

"My congratulations," Tsunade says with a warm smile. "First?"

"Second," I correct returning it.

"Congratulations again," She says with a good natured chuckle. "How old?"

"One year next week, if he makes it," I joke as Arashi signs the sheet. The two leaders shake hands, as do I and Tori. She grips my hand a little tighter than needed but I return it. I then shake hands with Tsunade, and Tori with Arashi.

"Please have a safe trip back, we look forward to our continued partnership," The Hokage says.

"As do we," Arashi replies smiling tightly before we both leave. "Total bullsh*t," She adds with a growl once we're out of earshot.

"I heard you grinding your teeth," I say with a slight sigh. She shakes her hair out of the up-do and grumbles swears as we jump away from the meeting place.

"Hidan better keep his promise of a massage or heads are gunna roll," She says and goes inside. I follow after her and hear a happy squeal. Turning, I see Sori, my and Kisame's first child. He wanted to name him Sasori but that was too much. We settled on Sori instead. The almost one year-old has black hair and blue skin with my green eyes. I push up my glasses and reach out to my son, who is riding on Tobi' shoulders.

"Mori-chan!" He says and I hug the two of them. "Did it go okay?"

"We resigned the treaty," I say with a slight shrug. "There were more rules put into it but Arashi thought it was best. I trust her judgment." He nods, seeming to understand. "Was Sori a good boy?"

"Sori is ALWAYS a good boy" The original good boy beams. I chuckle and take my son, putting him on my hip.

"Want to feel the baby kicking?" He squeals and eagerly puts his hands on my stomach.

"Hi baby! Tobi is Uncle Tobi. Tobi and baby are gonna be best friends!" The baby kicks a little harder in response to his voice. "Baby hears Tobi!"

"Or he just knew I was coming, yeah," Deidara says grinning. His hair is longer now, as is mine. I reach out and tug it gently as he sets a hand on my stomach. "Wow, un. Kicking hard," I nod with a grin.

"And Arashi and I went to the doctor before the meeting. It's not a he, it's a she," Deidara chuckles a little and pats my stomach.

"Congrats, yeah"

"Thanks,"

"Congrats on what?" My husband asks pecking me lovingly.

"Having a little girl," I say kissing him back. Tobi and Sori make noises that sound like "ew", causing me to giggle.

"Looks like I win," Kisame grins. "Ai it is,"

"Ai it is," I agree gently shooing the hands away. Sori bounces excitedly and I hold him up, blowing into his stomach.

"Dibs, un" Deidara says stealing my son so my husband and I can have some alone time.

"Sempai!" Tobi runs after him eagerly. "No fair!" The two of us go into our room, letting the silence roll over us as we lay back on our bed. I look to the nightstand and see a picture of us on our wedding day. I was wearing a huge smile and a white dress we 'bought' on a mission a little before that. Kisame, who really cleans up nice, was wearing a pointy grin and a pale gray suit. Itachi had been the best man while Deidara and Hidan took groomsmen. Tobi was the ring bearer and Kakuzu walked me down the aisle. Arashi was my maid of honor along with all the bride's maids. Zetsu had been nice enough to pose as the priest, seeing as the miser wouldn't let us rent one. It was beautiful until Bipolar broke out arguing over the vows. His rendition was much funnier than the ones normally used.

"So," My Kisame rouses me from my thoughts. "A little girl and a little boy,"

"Yeah," He rubs my stomach gently. "Birthday next week,"

"We're going to have to sneak out to get presents,"

"My thoughts exactly," His lips catch mine in a sweet kiss that still makes me feel woozy.

Looking back on everything I went through, from meeting the Akatsuki to becoming a ninja, I really did have fun. I have a loving husband, an amazing 'family', soon to be two kids, and a pretty decent life. Things can be rough at times and I made some pretty stupid mistakes but I wouldn't change a thing. After all, I am the epitome of stupidity at its best.

The End


End file.
